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and it flows..

Friday, 21 March 2008

Soda (Part 1)


This is my kitten.
His name is Soda.
Soda is 3 months old.
Soda is white with creamy streaks.
His mum is of Siamese descent.
Soda likes to play.
He loves to eat.
He likes to pose for pictures, as you can clearly see !
Soda is a trained army cat.
He loves to sneak on people and guerilla-attack them.
Good luck people...

more on this guy, later perhaps !

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

Alive... and Very Angry

That's definitely it. I am. I still am both. Being very angry confirms that I am definitely alive. I thank the Almighty Allah that no physical harm befell my children and I. I am still cursing the two (I can't actually write THOSE words here - sorry) to hell and back again, infinity times over ! Why ? WHY ? WHY NOT ? When they actually took valuable things from me, violated my right (especially to financial freedom) !! Damn them ! They grabbed my handbag from the passenger side of the car, and ran. My bag. My Ipod. My purse with ALL my credit cards and ALL my ATM cards and the extension which had ALL my membership cards. AND... my mother's watch. Dad gave me Mum's watch, for me to treasure. It's broken, and I wanted to repair it so I can wear and enjoy it. They took that. What good would it do them ? It's broken, they'll just dump it somewhere. Like they'll dump my purse, cards (I got all of them blocked in time).. they'll have some use for the Ipod obviously, and the cash. 150Euro and 450RM. I know.. I know.. my darling half has asked the exact same thing - but I had to keep the money in my purse in order to go pay off my cards at the CDM, don't I ?

I feel so vulnerable. So exposed. My NRIC. My Driving License. My keys. My favourite lipsticks !!! (note the plural.. there is definitely more than one in there). And a host of other necessities. FOR ME. I need them. My Necessities. My stuff. My medication. Not that I'm dropping dead earlier if i don't have them, but these are still MINE.

I feel anger. I gave chase, but couldn't find them. They were very quick on the bike, while I had to first reverse the car out of the drive way. I would have gladly rammed them down if I did get them. Seriously. Yes, it happened right on my doorstep, as I was getting ready to drive the car up the drive way. No the car was unlocked as #2 and #4 had just got out to open the gates. Yes the bag was on the passenger seat as I'd just taken out the house keys. No I definitely didn't see this coming. Yes I was very tired after a long day. And No... don't tell Dad.

Made my police report immediately after. Funny incident when the pretty L/Kpl (yes she is. why can't she be ?) asked for my NRIC to validate the report. I just smiled and pointed to what she'd typed out on the screen to verify - "Antara barang kecurian adalah Kad Pengenalan" (Amongst the stolen items is the NRIC). She slapped her own foreheaad - Duh !

So this wonderful hot sunny day ? Early morning to Putrajaya for JPN (they waived all charges as there was a police report made), then off to the various banks to settle my numerous cards. Thank the Almighty I got my main ATM card immediately. That allows me to eat tomorrow :) A long trek all over the city up and down mountains.. errrr, I mean floors, dealing with all the Customer Service Reps. I must say the best today was the single lady, she was calm and projected the required warmth and understanding of the urgency of the situation. Not that the boys didn't, but somehow the quality just wasn't up to par... They compensated with having (rather) good looks. That did cool me a bit (harrumph ! enuff said). I'm getting my new NRIC tomorrow - with a new round face in the picture area ha ha they stretched the pic on the temporary id.. I guess that's how I'll look for the rest of the card's (or mine) natural life.

Now. I need to get some sleep. More than enough unwanted excitement, and fatigue is catching up along with the stress. My initial gastric problem has developed into something more severe now. My darling says I coped brilliantly, I managed it very well. but I don't want to manage it very well.. I just don't want this to happen. But it did, and this is one more unhappy loss that I have to bear with in my life.

Please Allah, no more major losses.. I beseech you. It's still not even a full year yet. I do acknowledge that you test only those that will endure as you have made it such, but this humble servant of yours is sending up a fervent prayer that you reduce the amount of hardship that she has to partake of in her life. I pray to you the Almighty, with the intercession of your beloved Prophet and his Holy Family, to spare me from much more pain.. And to grant me the strength to rise from especially the past sadness and grief and to move on, in order to continue my service unto You. Ameen yaRabbil Alameen.

For one who does not quite update her blog often enough, I think every once in a while is quite an earful..

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

Not short by any standards...

Ha ha... my friend just asked me about my blogger page..  And I had to say 'I have one ?' and asked HIM for the address !  Pretty lame is it not ?  Oh well, here I am again, finally.

I originally started this blog in October 2007, as a means of releasing my tensed thoughts and feelings. I had lost my sister - my only one - finally succumbing to cancer on May 12,2007,  and then mum decided she wanted to go along with her. She waited for dad to come home from Friday prayers before telling her heart to stop working.  Leaving me as the sole female of the family.  My dad sorely misses them both, and I make matters worse by not calling him up as often as he would like !  But I have my days, too. Days where i simply cannot bear to talk to anyone as it reminds me too much of times gone by.

I still ache at the thought of not being able to call them up and chat on my way to and from work.  I actually got myself a pretty expensive toy - a bluetooth headset so that i can easily chat with them on the phone while driving.  Sis would be in the morning - if I don't call her by 7:45am, she will call to and demand to know why I'm not yet on the way to work.  Mum's session will be at the end of the day, after work where I'll be updating her on the latest office gossip... and what my sis and I talked about in the morning !   She'll ask without fail as to why I'm still on the road, when it's past dinner time.  I usually make it a point to talk in theatrics, they love it and take it for what it was, embellishments of actual stories.

It's funny to have to talk of them in the past tense..  I still don't refer to them with the customary prefix of 'Aruah' (Departed) Mak or 'Aruah' Nyah... it's too weird.  It's a long way from that October, when I could barely speak of them without breaking down uncontrollably, I still have those moments.  Now I don't break down, but my heart just aches terribly every time I speak of them.

Trying to move on, and trying to start a blog with lots of non-sensical issues !  But there will be moments like these, definitely, where I will need to let my fingers express my thought and feelings. Until then, there it is !


Today's Prayer Times