Innalillah, Yasmin Ahmad

Yasmin Ahmad, StoryTeller, FilmMaker.
You have touched so many people, so many souls, in so many ways that some may not even begin to comprehend.
The world will indeed miss you.
May your soul rest in Peace, and be blessed by Allah the Almighty.
Good bye, Yasmin, may your journey be forever more a peaceful one.

26 July 2009. Sunday 12:15am

Really ? Maybe la kot..

Some one asked me recently, why is it that I have not been diligently updating my blog. Well, a lot of reasons actually. A lot of happenings, a lot of events, a lot of occasions, and definitely WORK. Someone did also ask me if I wrote only when I was unhappy. Well, maybe that could be true!

I tend to write more when I feel that I don't have anyone I can talk to I suppose. But I DO have a lot of friends (yes, they ARE friends, people whom I can call on even in the middle of the night - THAT kind) but sometimes I obviously cannot impose. They have their own things to do too, and they need their beauty sleep!

So a summary of whatever has been .. yeah I get ticked off for that too unfortunately! But this is all I can manage for now, so this is what I will write!

Debot - Little Gedebot or 'Deb' - he's a boy kitten so sometimes he's 'Debboy' to me - has grown quite well. Rather independent now, I must say. His mum started neglecting him a couple of weeks back and he used to cry a lot, but he's doing sooooo much better now. Got him his personal stash of Kitten Whiskas, but I guess Soda's Adult ones are still more attractive! Drinks a lot though, and can finish a tray of water in about 5 minutes. Don't ask me where it goes to....

Ninja and Boy, the turtles - Ninja's a girl and when we got back from Iran after 2 weeks, we were pleasantly surprised to see that Ninja had actually grown to triple her original size! She is now Huge.. well compared to Boy. And she eats. A lot. A WHOLE lot...

My reunion! It was brilliant! What more can I say? I think around 90 of us managed to make it to the function room of KClub in Melawati, and that was out of our original of 202 people. Is that fantastic or what? Well, 2 couldn't make it, if they did, I'm not sure what the reaction would have been... as they had left us earlier for the afterlife... I managed to get there late and fashionably missed my 'batch hunt' hit where they tried to guess who I was by the clues fed by the committee. I heard that the clues were kinda embarrassing, so I figure it was a blessing that I didn't get there on time! Wonder who won the prize for guessing, as somebody actually did guess correctly ! hahaha Well anyway, imagine 90 girls running around (madly) and greeting each other (excitedly), with Chilli Red as the theme of the event.. This was the 30th year reunion of the 1st all-girls batch of MRSM Seremban, the batch 79-83. 2nd Batch, 2nd Generation and proud to be Ansara! A lot of lost connections got re-established and memory lanes were casually strolled down. *Sigh*.... it was soooo good that we continued to have mini re-unions after that day. Not that we didn't have them before *wink* hahaha

THE W.e.d.d.i.n.g.... This happened last weekend, the 18th of July 2009. Which prompted me to write to my Mum to tell her all about it. Oh well, I have a lot to say but not much to say, all at the same time. It will take time from Denial.Com to get to Acceptance.Com.. the progress bar is still moving, no worries there, albeit slowly hahaha New member to the family which has old habits and even older members. Que Sera Sera. The next test will be EidlFitri. That will be another grand event, I bet! Oooh a mini-gathering will happen this weekend, at another wedding of some people from a generation more 'current' *grin* a cousin's daughter will be getting married this Sunday, and Dad and the Newbie will be arriving Saturday. And will put up in my house, no less. I wouldn't want Dad anywhere else, I still need to keep an eye on him *wink* oh babble babble babble, yeah Mum, I know. Either I talk about it properly or stop yapping with just vague unintelligible hints here and there. I'll do the latter. NOW. Thanks, Mum *hugeeeeee grin*

Durian party! Yes, we managed to have one last weekend, and I too managed to secret away one Durian just to make Serawa Durian! Mind you, no coarse white processed sugar in it, only Gula Melaka, a little bit of water, a pinch of salt and 2 packs of Santan Kelapa pekat! What, Low-Fat Santan? What are you talking about? *grin* Pure unadulterated yummy FAT and CHOLESTEROL... I must say I was very giddy after that.. So the Serawa was eaten with Roti Putih. I had bought 3 long packs from Tesco the day before and Dad went and bought One more long one as he only saw One hahaha. Oooh that was delicious. Atam had to abandon the cooking of the pulut to go with the Serawa as it was already half-gone even at the time of the idea! Durian, Rambutan, Manggis, Mangga (courtesy of Suhaimi and Mrs from next door) and some Mata Kucing I bought from Tesco. I'm not going to bother with explaining the Malay-oriented words I have used. If you can't undertand it, please do look it up in a dictionary. A bit too lazy to embellish.

So what next? My aspiring Pilot (wonder if that still applies) is leaving for Miri tomorrow to go back to school. He needs to finish up 2 more papers before he can move on to the next level. My Sweetheart will be flying back to Esfahan on Friday, and I am so-very-the-upset-one as I cannot send him to the airport as due to work commitments. KakDa's Phantom event will take place Friday evening - not that I'm good for anything except to fetch her after the show :) hey, Friday is still a work day! And then I have the weekend to look forward to, that will keep my mind off things a bit - Dad's coming over, both my Atams will be here, Saturday Golf Class, Atief's Reading Tuition, Adek's whining because he's bored when Atief's away at Tuition, Sunday Wedding event (ponteng the Taekwando again for the 3 young'uns). If all else is done, then I have to comfort myself in the fact that my friends update their facebook status every 5 seconds and the others will reply immediately as if they have nothing better to do, and I can read and follow and contribute on the numerous threads. Still, if all else fails, then I have my Farm on Farm Town!! heh heh heh

That pretty much sums it up I guess. I will probably just jump and plonk in bits of (useless) information from time to time. Depends on how stressful the story is ! Until then, no pictures for now :P

Mum, you would be proud soooo of me!

Dear Mum,

Am very sorry that I have not written for so long. Well you know lah, I prefer to “story” you directly, then I can add in all the sound effects and the drama gets better! But today I have to settle for just typing them down je lah. Not that I really have much of a choice anyway..

Saturday went quite well, I think, despite some misgivings. You will be proud to know that I behaved myself! And very well, I must say. Although there were times when I was really tempted to explode – who in their right minds would accept “Congratulations on your new Mum” when I already have one? New? Did we just buy her off a supermarket shelf or something ? You mean we can actually get NEW Mums? (I know that first-time mothers who had just given birth are called New Mums, but that’s a different story la kan) Hey, just because Dad has a new wife, that doesn’t automatically make her my NEW Mum. Hmm somehow it doesn’t sound right.. oh yeah, but I held my own and graciously replied with “Que sera Sera”….and a grin! I doubt that many would not understand that one, eh? Or understand it even.. hehehe

I took a really lonnnng time getting ready, dressing up for the event. Well, Dad wanted me to play hostess, as you know already, not that I kenal half the people there la kan, the people from the surrounding areas. Adik-beradiks I can do. Thankfully the ratio was like 1:10 with 10 being the number for adik-beradiks. Many of the family couldn’t make it, as coming from KL would be rather difficult and then nak balik pulak dah late night. Nak book hotel kat situ pun, you know lah the limitations kan. Dah la pulak Monday tu holiday, but Perak only! This part was where I was a bit sensitive when orang tanya.. eh apasal nak balik Ahad jugak? And I sweetly answered “Abis cucu kan semua kat KL.. Monday sekolah kan?”. And to the remark that “Laaaaa you look exactly like your Mum!” hehehe compliment tu, Mum, that made it pretty clear everybody remembers you, rest assured! Well, and THAT was also pretty much why I didn’t make an earlier appearance to greet the 400-odd guests! But then again, it DID too contribute to a much grander entrance hahaha.

I wore a black kebaya with gold-ish kerawang, with the gold diamond kerongsang, of course! Oh and kain batik with sequins (uggh. Yeah, I know, I know) Didn’t have time to ikat any of your batik lepas, I would have loved to have done that though. Then a lot more people would be shocked to see me (you). The kain batik that I wore was already sewn - I bought it ready made. I remember watching you ikat the batik lepas dulu whenever you were going out to a function with Dad.. the sanggul and then the kebaya pendek sulam. And how you used to scold me when I re-enacted you dressing up – doing up a French bun, pulling the sarong to tighten it and finally putting on the baju and the pins hahaha but you enjoyed my little dramas and over-acting, I know . Oh yes, before the baju was the eyeliner and lipstick. Last baru baju kebaya. And the corset-girdle or whatever it was called, too. I can only maintain the eyeliner – can’t leave, won’t leave home without it. After all, I have been wearing eyeliner since I could walk! I don’t need a security blanket or pacifier, eyeliners are more vogue! Oh and did I tell you someone asked if I was protesting, since I wore black? To which I replied, sweetly as always, “Oh this is so I can show off all of Mum’s old jewellery!” Hahaha. You really should have been around to see their faces. Splatt.

The DJ (yes, for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why there was one as it was so inappropriate) started to spin and loudly commented on the ceremony, guests, lights, plates, food and everything under the sun, to which I promptly despatched Abang Atan (yay!!!) to go and silence him before I went to shut him up myself, with some violent actions! Anyway he went quiet but started up again when the lights died. Hmmm this time, I did go over and threatened to shoot his brains out if he was going to turn the event into a stupid circus. Well, that was what I WANTED to do, but I AM your very well-behaved daughter and was not about to create a scene; besides which I didn’t have a gun anyway. Bummer. Now THAT would have been fun!

So all in all I think it went quite well. The newbie was friendly; she wasn’t obtrusive at all and let me have my lights and glamour! Oh well, I knew some people were surprised that I had not kicked up a major fuss (apparently I was entitled to, what a waste that I did not know of it!), seeing that I was the only daughter left, the youngest in the family AND plus the fact that I had not met her until that evening itself! Oh well, in order to make the event move-flow-whatever, nicely, and to SHOW that I was sane in mind and knew perfectly what was going on around me, I told Dad I’d take charge of the moneys involved in the customary gift. And I worked very well within budget too, with a lot of help from some very good friends. (Remember my friends from school, Mum? The boarding school ones lah. The ones I was so engrossed with on the first day of school that I didn’t bother crying when you left me there, when you were bawling your eyes out driving away with Dad in the car.. hee hee sorry Mum) They are still a bunch of very good friends, my sisters, and I am proud to state that you also managed to have met them and enjoy their (then) silliness. Shhh, Mum, don’t tell them I said silly ok, but we were, back then, all of us, and fun to boot! You would be very pleased to know that my friends have all grown up to be fine ladies with professions to be proud of, they manage homes, families, companies, hospitals, the army, the internet, the traffic (both on the ground and in the air, mind you) and fight for what we believe is right. Excellent people, you know.. and they are MY friends !!!

Ooh, I started talking about the Newbie and I veered off towards my favourite subject, ME! Oh well, SHE is OK I guess, of course expectations are never one-sided. But you know Dad. What, 65 years? Hehehe you loved complaining to me about his negative traits, simply because you wanted to announce the fact that you have been together for sooooo very long. Don’t think I didn’t know that trick! I can always spot them from a mile off, remember ? And this is not just about Dad and us adjusting to her, it is also about her accepting us all as we are, as we always have been. It always has to work both ways, kan? Well, as I have been saying every time, “Que Sera Sera” (I also remember you singing that song). My take on this all is to ADD to memories and adventures of our family’s life, not to remove and replace. There is no replacement as there never can be. And to compete with something that has already been, is simply pointless. New expectations can be set, but of course within reason. Easier said than done, I know, but I think you do see my point kan? No need and reason for theatrics lah in this case, ye tak? Buang karan je nanti pun..

Err, Mum, my fingers are now rather sore from the typing... so I hope you don’t mind if I stop here for now. There are definitely a lot more I want to tell you about, but I would probably write another time. So for now, just rest assured that everything will be fine, so not to worry. It just needs a bit of adjustment and changing the status quo from denial.com to acceptance.com. Don’t worry if you think I’m not speaking proper English again, this is just me being playful. Which as always is what I enjoy when telling you stories. I miss doing that you know, telling you stories, exaggerating the scenarios, and hearing you and Nyah laughing and giggling your err, heads, off.. And I will be OK, Mum, InsyaAllah. Really. Don’t worry about me. Worst thing that can happen to me is that I’ll just simply have another nervous breakdown. Hahaha, that was a joke, Mum ! Relax will you?

Bye now, until next time, I love you!