The truth is always there, it's just how you choose to understand and believe it..

Tell her

2011-04-29T09:16:00.001+08:00

Tell her

you miss the melody of her name
after all this while is she still the same
the girl who struck out on her own
venturing into the world unknown?

is she the same, you said you'd care for
'til end of time, forevermore
you'll cherish her, because you do
for eternity, you love her too?

you found her again, that's what you said
searched for years, you stayed to wait
for her to magically re-appear
into your life, to have her near

you loved, and missed her when she went
you pined for her, upon no end
but when she's here in flesh and soul
are you brave enough to meet and hold?

her hands, so soft, you remember well
but not to her, you never did tell
what was in your heart that time, before
she went away to the land of yore

is she still the one that you desired
the one whom you had so required
as partner to your beating heart
until the day that you depart?

if yes then tell her how you feel
however much you love her still
before she disappears again
and you would have loved her all in vain

another chance may not be present
to have a go at a slice of heaven
to tell her truly how much you care
and why for her, you'll always be there

tell her do, give her the news
just let her know, what's there to lose?
after all these years, you never told her
for all you know, she might just remember

how much to her your presence meant
when spending time together then
sharing laughter and the tears
amongst the sadness, the hopes, the fears

the feelings that she had for you
may have been what you felt then too
but since you never said a word
so off she went, free as a bird

so tell her now, while she is here
how much you care, and hold her dear
you never know what she will say
her answer might just brighten your day

Emma Aman Shah - Wed 27 April 2011 8:00pm
Edited Fri 29 April 9:00am

Of Emotions and Elements

2011-04-16T23:45:00.004+08:00

***

Wednesday Apr 13 2011 at 20:31 via iPhone ·

.

I've been given a dare
By a poet extraordinaire
Oh dear, what am I to do?
I have to deliver but I have no clue!

I told him, I'm sorry sir
I'm down with a raging fever
He said oh take care, but by 3pm, I hope
I'm sure you can write while you're high on dope :-)

Some words that he had given me
Must be used appropriately
I'm to utilise Halilintar and Hujan
Petir, Kilat, Badai and Taufan

Also there's Gerimis and Suram
Not forgetting Guruh and Kelam
Now, the real challenge has not been met
You haven't seen the rest of it yet!

Sinar, Terang, Cerah, Suria
Mentari, Gemerlapan, Kemilau and Cahaya
Words portraying the different elements
Which can be used to describe emotions

The highs and lows, feelings of a person
Turmoil, passion, elation and frustration
So where do I start then, I ask you
When my prose is terrible in Bahasa Melayu?

Oh yes one more word, he tells me
For good measure, throw in Pelangi
I'm scratching my head more than enough
My kids are asking, Mama you have dandruff?

A disciplined writer, I never can be
I salute Pendita Rahim, who challenged me
The next time he says 'I dare you!'
I'll just go menyorok behind a batu...

:-)

Simpler

2011-04-09T09:24:00.002+08:00

Somehow I find rhyming to be simpler. I seem to dissolve into puisi, sajak, pantun, poems so much more these days. Signs of aging? Mellowing down?

Thoughts and feelings are much more spontaneous in this form somehow for me lately. Oh and cutting-n-pasting from FB is a big help hehehe

No matter how sometimes I feel that words fail me, they are the ones to the rescue all the time ! Bravo to the written words!

Smile people, and don't forget to breaaaaatttthhheeee :-)

Beloved

2011-04-06T08:56:00.000+08:00

You are there with me no matter what,
during anxiety, fears,
excitement, my tears.
Constantly by my side
when I'm happy, gullible, sad,
idiotic and neurotically mad.
I love you always and forever...

<3 precious books !! :-)

05 April at 13:48 via Mobile Web

buat Ardhiya

2011-04-02T09:04:00.000+08:00

Emma Aman Shah on Friday, 01 April 2011 at 19:48

Belum lagi tamatnya lagu
Masih punya rangkap hidupmu
Yang belum habis dinyanyi kamu

Selesai sudah rangkap yang lalu
Mulakan lagi dengan yang baru
Biar lagunya tambah merdu

Walau melodinya mungkin berubah
Tambah irama tambahnya indah
Agar seri menjadi murni
Yang lalu itu biarkan pergi
Fasa hidup jangan sesali
Indahnya ada, masih berseni

Nyanyikan terus lagumu, Ardhiya
Selagi Allah memberi daya
Teruskan lagumu kearah Ia
Akan aku iringkan du'a
Agar hidupmu diulit bahagia

good nite, peaceful nite

2011-02-22T09:00:00.002+08:00

Emma Aman Shah on Monday, 21 February 2011 at 23:32

I haven't written for a while
But thoughts of you still make me smile
Remembering how, out of the blue
You'd send me out on an errand for you

Sometimes it'd be as simple as
Drop by pasar tani, get you lemongrass
Even if I had no intention of going
Refuse you I couldn't 'cos you needed it for cooking!

Either for masak pindang or asam pedas
It'll be something you do with zass
I'll always miss the asam pedas ikan merah
You cooked for me, soon as I'd jejak tanah

Knowing I'd wanted yours when I expecting
So far away when I was studying
You made it for me so I wont mengidam
Even though by then, the baby had come!

Oh memories of you make my heart sigh
The thought that already we said goodbye
I suppose the medication is partly to blame
Putting me in this state, making me call your name

There, of course, will be no answer
'Cos you are gone from me forever
But magically, some consolation for my heart
The bitter sweet remembrance of our being apart

Rest in peace, my darling sister
You were missed greatly by our mother
May she too rest in absolute contentment
I pray you both, together blessed in heaven

wondering

2011-01-25T09:17:00.002+08:00

Emma Aman Shah on Tuesday, 25 January 2011 at 01:14

:
Wonder who you really are
Are you like the twinkling star
Diamond-like and shiny bright
Hanging in the sky at night?

Or are you like a lullaby
A soothing sound to hush my cry
When i am sad all on my own
You're there so i won't be alone?

Thoughts of you, they make me ponder
The reality of which, when you are near
And yet so far in flesh and presence
Are you for real, when there's no essence?

Is it just my mind, my senses resist
Alluding me to believe that you are here
But who are you, do you really exist
I doubt myself, though i feel you near

If you really are in form and feel
Show me yourself, and make it real
End us this torture of silent guessing
Whether a link is worth rekindling

missing yOu

2011-01-12T09:00:00.002+08:00

Emma Aman Shah on Tuesday, 11 January 2011 at 22:33

a wish, a note, a little greeting,
that comes around me every morning,
is something now i've found as missing,
to brighten my day, which else is daunting..
or am i now overly demanding?
on time of others, not me, belonging,
attention, whom of that i'm seeking,
giveth now, no longer willing..
i know not why the silence ring,
so loud, so cold, so much, it's hurting,
if i have faulted you in living,
tell me please, you'll forgive on my dying..
for a kinship lost is not what i can bear,
my life to continue in despair,
my journey, without you to share,
at the end of it, without you there..

-------------------

Rahim Ab.Rahman ‎.
KuRindu
alih rasa: Rahim Ab.Rahman
pada Khamis, Januari 13, 2011 at 9:30 pagi

Lirik, manis senyum, segaris sapa,
Sering berlegar (tanpa lepas) saban hari,
Kini telah bubar hilang,
Yang bisa menyeri kusam dan kusut diri…
Atau akukah yang keterlaluan menagih perhati?

Adakala, bukankah kita memiliki dimiliki,
Dambaan rupa sentuhan rasa,
Tiada lagi kuperoleh kini…
Mencengkam membingit sang sepi,
Maha hebat, terlalu dingin, pedih, luluh seluruh.

Seandainya aku bersalah ketika hayatmu,
Leraikan, ampunkan aku disaat geringku,
Kehilangan kasih yang tak tersanggupkan,
Menggelepar aku menyulam arah,
Dagangku tanpamu menyatu,
Dipenghujung garis, tiada kau meraikan.

I feel you. It still hurts and bleeds, does it not? Now I understand the silhouettes of your profile!

Out of sight..

2011-01-06T23:03:00.000+08:00

:
Are thoughts erased, or merely replaced?
Are memories lost, or simply forgotten?
Or do we only remember when we are faced
With situations, jolting one to awaken?

Nought i know why, you, I could'nt find
On that day, long ago, i can't recall
You slipped from me, my being, my mind
'Til in my trance I heard you call
My name, so sweet the sound, tho' just a whisper
But with enough soul to make me remember..

5th January 2011

Transliterated by a friend - Thank you, Im!

2011-01-06T23:02:00.001+08:00

Rahim Ab.Rahman

‎...sekilas...
Digilirkah ilham yang terpadam?
Bubarkah kenangan yang hilang?
Atau hanya mengingati yang zahir terpampan
Searus keadaan menggoncang buntang segala ingatan?

Sepi, tiada kusedar kau samar kelam
Ketika itu, sesusup silam yang memudar
Mengkaburi diri, menyisih dari mindaku
Sehingga terbit khayal, ku kauseru
Namaku, lunak sapaanmu walau bisikan cuma
Namun serasa sepenuh jiwa, aku terkesima

(Honestly, it need refinement. But try I did in one go...)

Whimsy 1 and 2

2010-12-03T11:54:00.003+08:00

1
ditimbang bawang kira sekati,
...bawa balik simpan dipara,
.....campur gula dibuat jeruk;

dibilang abang senang dihati,
...bila adik jadi gembira,
.....kenapa pula abang merajuk?

2

i thrill to analyse
..other's feelings and thoughts;
but i feel it's not wise,
..so, meddle i will not.

Whimsy 3

2010-12-03T11:53:00.002+08:00

feel sad, oh for sure,
when thine heart is distant,
and that i endure,
though thou may be hesitant,
to let the past go,
and i be forgiven,
so new memories can grow,
and all sadness forgotten.

Today is 24th November 2010 and I miss you

2010-11-24T07:53:00.002+08:00

It saddens me when I'm not even able to tell you that I miss you

I miss your company while I drive
I miss your laughing at my silly jokes
I miss you humoring my tall tales
I miss cheering you up
I miss you feeding me stupid ideas
I miss you getting me to do crazy things
I miss getting you things you want
I miss buying you things you don't need
I miss you light up when you see me coming
I miss trying to decipher your otherwise unintelligible text messages
I miss understanding what you're trying to say when you use absolutely ridiculous words
I miss you loving me unconditionally
I miss you I miss you I miss you

24th November 2010 at 11:55pm

2010-11-24T07:51:00.002+08:00

Senses

i feel..
the breeze gently caressing
and leaves fall slowly
making way for the serenity of a new day

i see..
the sun shining forth
when the moon will glow
and there is the coolness of the evening

i hear..
the birds busily chirping
welcoming the night
when all will be at rest

i sense..
the flow of the rhythm changing
the beats rapidly dispersing
and the emptiness set in

i long..
for the days gone by
when love, joy and laughter abound
for i may no longer share all these with you

They're THAT desperate to want to resort to this, eh? God help us from being further victimised

2010-06-23T15:20:00.016+08:00

Forwarded to my gmail account today, for me to share with you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 April 2010
Attention: Ms. Tan Poh Hong
CEO
Agri-Food & Veterinary Authority
5, Maxwell Road
Tower Block, MND Complex
Singapore 069110

Dear Madam

We wish to inform your goodself that for years, our consumer group as many other faithful consumers have been using “QBB” Ghee for various delicacies and religious functions without doubt, with full confidence that the said product is manufactured from the milk of dairy cows by its highly reputable manufacturer based in Queensland , Australia .

However, lately, we found that although the colour and aroma had now varied much, the taste seemed to be somewhat different.
Therefore, we investigated this matter and concluded the following matters:

• Its manufacturer Butter Producers’ Co-operative Federation Ltd (BPCF) addressed as No. 489, Kingsford Smith Drive , Hamilton , Brisbane , Australia had ceased operations in September 2006 and was no longer listed in the website of Australian trade authority being http://www.austrade/ .gov.au/. In fact the satellite picture as the website http://maps. google.com shows that the following site is vacant land.

• Printed on the tin is that the said product is manufactured from milkfat of dairy cows of Australia and in even smaller and rather unclear script, it is mentioned that its manufacturer is Q.B.I. Packaging Sdn Bhd, No. 19, Lorong Keluli 1C, Kawasan Perindustrian Bukit Raja Selatan, 41050 Shah Alam, Selangor DE., Mala ysia and that the said product is manufactured under license from QBB (Pte.) Ltd., Singapore .

• QBB Pte Ltd.., Singapore was originally the sole agent for “QBB” Ghee for Mala ysia , Singapore and Brunei and it is not clear whether at the time when BPCF ceased operations in 2006, the “QBB” trademark rights were transferred from BPCF to QBB Ptd Ltd., Singapore . We suspect that Q.B.I. Packaging Sdn Bhd and QBB Ptd Ltd., Singapore are together carrying an act of piracy i.e. producing and selling a product whose legitimate manufacturing and sales rights were not transferred to them by its original manufacturer BPCF who was since wound up.

• The report of an analysis conducted by a reputable food technology laboratory in Australia on the contents of a 2-lb tin of this product, where the said tin was taken from Mala ysia to Australia by one of our group members, mentions the following:-
“This product constitutes of decolorized and deodorized lard (pig fat) in semi-solid state with permitted additives giving the product color, flavor and aroma similar to that of pure ghee color, flavor and aroma.” (Original report is with the sender of this letter).

Therefore, our consumer group had to boycott the use of this product as:-

a) Our muslim members cannot use this product as it is haram by religion
b) Our Hindu and Sikh members cannot use this product for burning of ghee lamps, religious functions or for preparing sweetmeats as places of worship which forbid the use of any animal oil/animal fat.
c) Our vegetarian friends who only consume vegetarian diet cannot consume the said product.

We believe that the “QBB Ghee” sold in Malaysia , Singapore and Brunei ever since BPCF closed down, is a product which is violating the related laws on the principle of “misrepresentation of label”. Therefore we hope that your goodself will take the appropriate action to stop the sale of this product.

Thanking you.
Letter signed by Mohd Kadir bin Mohd Karim (I/C No. 601223-10-6157)
Secretary of Kumpulan Konsumer Satu Malaysia (KKSM)

Note: Copy of this letter and analysis report sent to
YAB Tan Sri Dato’ Seri Abd. Khalid bin Ibrahim, Menteri Besar Selangor DE.

procrastination for posterity or just plain denial ?

2010-04-02T18:11:00.002+08:00

i now know why i hardly write now. well the workload is one good excuse obviously - busy with office work on the weekdays and the running around on weekends for all the routine chores etc. but i think i know the real reason why.

i wanted to post a link from one of my past entries, for a friend of mine to read. i am always in the habit of reading it first. and this entry that i was going to send him was written when i was feeling very, very sad. as i read it again, thinking that i already knew every word and that i had done this countless times before, my tears still fell rapidly. and of course i had to put on the mac eyeliner today - so here i am, still at the workplace, forlornly sitting at the table with streaked eyes. no, no howling today, managed to check that in time, and now thinking of how to move on to the next pace quickly as i still have a ton to do for monday. i now need a quick change of mood in order to be able to finish my required submission. *sigh* there goes my non-weekend. i guess i will have to bring work back home and force myself to do it.

so maybe i'll be able to resist reading my previous entries again the next time. but maybe i won't, because that is the precious bit of memory that helps me release all my longing, remind me of all my beautiful moments with them. i will never see them again, but they are always in my heart. i owe myself another immediate entry - writing about trust. it has been going around in my head for almost 6 months now, and yet i am resisting the urge to write about it. the longer i resist, the more incidents and scenarios about this i encounter. maybe i should get that over and done with as quickly as possible so that i have a clearer mind on what to do when faced with another similar occassion!

so there we go. and there i go. packing up the materials for me to take home, so i may continue my work at home. tonight. before tomorrow's mad rush of lessons, driver-ing to, driver-ing from.... i do so want to go hit some (golf) balls at the sunway extreme park to help get the stress out! join me?

Mapping !

2010-01-27T02:02:00.004+08:00

Haha after so long not writing, here I am posting about Maps! No, actually more of the specific locations :) You should begin to realise by now that I have just discovered wikimapia :) Hooray!!!! So here are some very familiar spots to me. Others may (or may not!) be added later. Have fun exploring the places!!

1. Our home in Isfahan, Iran - although not for much longer

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=32.64494&lon=51.6482493&z=19&l=0&m=b

2. NEAR Our home here :) (Of course I won't post the EXACT location LOL)

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=3.1049225&lon=101.6046792&z=18&l=0&m=b

3. Mama's office

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=3.1626805&lon=101.7122626&z=18&l=0&m=b

4. Abang's NEW Skool (not yet labeled)

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=3.0615229&lon=101.6156763&z=18&l=0&m=b

5. KakDa's Skool

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=3.1224757&lon=101.6148502&z=18&l=0&m=b

6. Atief's and Arief's Skool (was also Abang's)

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=3.151818&lon=101.6567516&z=17&l=0&m=b

7. Tok's place

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=4.8659704&lon=100.7260895&z=18&l=0&m=b

8. Wan's place

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=4.8646608&lon=100.7252204&z=18&l=0&m=b

9. Tah's place

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=4.8607322&lon=100.7187295&z=18&l=0&m=b

10. Nyah's place

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=3.0239124&lon=101.5847397&z=15&l=0&m=b

11. Nyah's Brood

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=3.0605587&lon=101.5777123&z=18&l=0&m=b

12a. Atam's place - Kampung CitaCita on the Tanjung

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=4.9836748&lon=100.9477097&z=18&l=0&m=b

12b. Atam's place - SukaSuka on the Pulau

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=4.9663649&lon=100.95272&z=18&l=0&m=b

Salaam EidlFitr to all!

2009-09-17T09:41:00.005+08:00

My rendang is ready (although it's halved this year - not due to the economic downturn but limited as to the size of my kuali (wok) hehehe), my baju kebaya(s) are ready... no the bags are not yet packed, but will be by tomorrow! Oooh, it's not just the children who are excited, me too, especially since my Sweetheart will be arriving home tonight. So KLIA, 9:30pm, here we come!! Tomorrow night will herald the arrival of our Pilot project, the Prototype :) another trip to the airport, LCCT this time - another sahur outside on the cards !

To all friends, family, colleagues, 'distant' friends (you know who you are)... whatever the differences we may have had are just that, differences. We are still similar in a whole lot of ways (I'm cool, you are too; I'm nice, you are too; I'm stubborn, well aren't you too? hehehe) THAT is why we do agree and also disagree on things. But they are just that. And should not be taken too much to heart. I know that I have removed a lot of the heartache caused by some stupid disagreements, simply because I felt that the heartache of losing a long-time dear friend is more painful, don't you think? So no matter who is/was at fault, let it slide. You and I were both right and we both deserved our air-time. Start fresh and keep a momento of the past as a memory for our future, to tighten our bonds even more. Hey, bottom line, my friend, I love you !!!

I will miss the ones who have left us.. may their souls be blessed with our continued prayers until our time to join them.

So after this sermon of mine on a Thursday morning (one day earlier than that of my usual), I wish all a happy holiday this season. Travel safe, enjoy the company of our family and friends. If you have to spend EidlFitri this year away from the homeland, please don't feel sad. It is in our hearts that we have each other, and that we take with us for as long as we live :)

Selamat Hari Raya EidlFitri to all !!

a not-so-recent family picture but this has us all nicely together :)

Goodbye, Soda. RIP. Dec 2007 - 6 Aug 2009

2009-08-06T14:57:00.000+08:00

Soda - I named him that when the children came up with numerous suggestions - I can't even spell them! - after we'd stopped at MacD's on the way home from Sg Besi. I got a Soda there and that stuck on him. He was not spayed, so we obviously had to content with his Spats and Sprays!

Soda was a poor sight yesterday, hardened tummy and tired. I checked on him last night and he wasn't too comfy, but he was still in a mood to growl when little Debot messed with his tail. I put him partially on an old towel in case he felt too cold on the terracotta and chatted with him while he was horizontal. Obviously got an earful from Mama, as always, on why had he not stayed home like Mama told him to bla bla bla. With insight from past not-so-comfortable similar experiences, I whispered to him gently that if he felt he needed to go that night, it would be okay with me. However, if he would like to wait a little bit more, then I will come home at lunch time to take him to the vet. He slept the night in the washing yard, peacefully I hope, at least with as much peace as little Debot would let him have.

Morning came with little Debot noisily calling at my door. Eh? I thought I locked them both at the back? I got a bit worried when when Soda was not on the towel I gave him. Trailing Debot, I found him on the floor in the bathroom downstairs. He greeted me with a small Meowww? and I asked back how he was feeling. Another small Meooowwwww and pointedly licked his lips. I got a bowl of water and put it next to him. He promptly got up to drink and looked a bit satisfied although still tired. Little Debot was surprisingly good company, only darting to play around my skirt, but sits quietly in the bathroom next to Soda when he's done playing. I had to leave for work, it was around 7:20am, the children had just left for school. I told Soda that Mama will come home at noon, so wait for me OK? A feeble Meow and I think it was a hint of a smile. The vet would only open at 11.

Took the DUKE and arrived home at 12. Good timing, I thought. No traffic. Straight in to look for Soda. Little Debot pounced on me anxiously when I opened the kitchen door, meowing furiously. Thought he was hungry, ushered him to his food bowl, instead he ran to the bathroom and waited. He was on his tummy next to Soda. And Soda was not looking good at all but still managed a small Meow. I spoke to him but he was too tired to answer back. I asked him for a small wag, he obliged with a tiny, tiny flutter of his tail. Mama's going upstairs to get you my kain batik, so I can wrap you in it while we drive to the vet, OK? I put Debot in the back - he was not too happy at being locked up. And off I went and got my red sarong. I wrapped Soda in it like a little baby - he loved it when he was small, cuddling in a sarong - and carried him out front to the car. I stopped short when I sensed something was so not right. Little Debot was wailing sadly high-pitched in the back, I could hear him through the back kitchen opening. I decided to just sit in front near the door and continued cuddling my Soda. He was getting ready to leave..... And that was how he did go, the same way I brought him home from Kalam's when he was small, he left at 12:30pm with Mama still cuddling him close.

My photo-loving model cat, battle-weary and tired, my little hero of the neighbourhood. You held your own against your adversaries, but lost to an unseen group of soldiers who attacked your digestion system. Life's never fair, I know. So sleep now, little one, there will no longer be anyone or anything to bother you. Mama will miss nagging you about your nightly adventures. Goodbye Soda, I know we will all miss you in our own little way.

In his prime! and a smile, to boot..

aaaahhhh... see all behind bullet-proof protection. driver ? let's move !

or this one, i think..?

Innalillah, Yasmin Ahmad

2009-07-26T00:38:00.004+08:00

Yasmin Ahmad, StoryTeller, FilmMaker.
You have touched so many people, so many souls, in so many ways that some may not even begin to comprehend.
The world will indeed miss you.
May your soul rest in Peace, and be blessed by Allah the Almighty.
Good bye, Yasmin, may your journey be forever more a peaceful one.

26 July 2009. Sunday 12:15am

Really ? Maybe la kot..

2009-07-22T12:07:00.004+08:00

Some one asked me recently, why is it that I have not been diligently updating my blog. Well, a lot of reasons actually. A lot of happenings, a lot of events, a lot of occasions, and definitely WORK. Someone did also ask me if I wrote only when I was unhappy. Well, maybe that could be true!

I tend to write more when I feel that I don't have anyone I can talk to I suppose. But I DO have a lot of friends (yes, they ARE friends, people whom I can call on even in the middle of the night - THAT kind) but sometimes I obviously cannot impose. They have their own things to do too, and they need their beauty sleep!

So a summary of whatever has been .. yeah I get ticked off for that too unfortunately! But this is all I can manage for now, so this is what I will write!

Debot - Little Gedebot or 'Deb' - he's a boy kitten so sometimes he's 'Debboy' to me - has grown quite well. Rather independent now, I must say. His mum started neglecting him a couple of weeks back and he used to cry a lot, but he's doing sooooo much better now. Got him his personal stash of Kitten Whiskas, but I guess Soda's Adult ones are still more attractive! Drinks a lot though, and can finish a tray of water in about 5 minutes. Don't ask me where it goes to....

Ninja and Boy, the turtles - Ninja's a girl and when we got back from Iran after 2 weeks, we were pleasantly surprised to see that Ninja had actually grown to triple her original size! She is now Huge.. well compared to Boy. And she eats. A lot. A WHOLE lot...

My reunion! It was brilliant! What more can I say? I think around 90 of us managed to make it to the function room of KClub in Melawati, and that was out of our original of 202 people. Is that fantastic or what? Well, 2 couldn't make it, if they did, I'm not sure what the reaction would have been... as they had left us earlier for the afterlife... I managed to get there late and fashionably missed my 'batch hunt' hit where they tried to guess who I was by the clues fed by the committee. I heard that the clues were kinda embarrassing, so I figure it was a blessing that I didn't get there on time! Wonder who won the prize for guessing, as somebody actually did guess correctly ! hahaha Well anyway, imagine 90 girls running around (madly) and greeting each other (excitedly), with Chilli Red as the theme of the event.. This was the 30th year reunion of the 1st all-girls batch of MRSM Seremban, the batch 79-83. 2nd Batch, 2nd Generation and proud to be Ansara! A lot of lost connections got re-established and memory lanes were casually strolled down. *Sigh*.... it was soooo good that we continued to have mini re-unions after that day. Not that we didn't have them before *wink* hahaha

THE W.e.d.d.i.n.g.... This happened last weekend, the 18th of July 2009. Which prompted me to write to my Mum to tell her all about it. Oh well, I have a lot to say but not much to say, all at the same time. It will take time from Denial.Com to get to Acceptance.Com.. the progress bar is still moving, no worries there, albeit slowly hahaha New member to the family which has old habits and even older members. Que Sera Sera. The next test will be EidlFitri. That will be another grand event, I bet! Oooh a mini-gathering will happen this weekend, at another wedding of some people from a generation more 'current' *grin* a cousin's daughter will be getting married this Sunday, and Dad and the Newbie will be arriving Saturday. And will put up in my house, no less. I wouldn't want Dad anywhere else, I still need to keep an eye on him *wink* oh babble babble babble, yeah Mum, I know. Either I talk about it properly or stop yapping with just vague unintelligible hints here and there. I'll do the latter. NOW. Thanks, Mum *hugeeeeee grin*

Durian party! Yes, we managed to have one last weekend, and I too managed to secret away one Durian just to make Serawa Durian! Mind you, no coarse white processed sugar in it, only Gula Melaka, a little bit of water, a pinch of salt and 2 packs of Santan Kelapa pekat! What, Low-Fat Santan? What are you talking about? *grin* Pure unadulterated yummy FAT and CHOLESTEROL... I must say I was very giddy after that.. So the Serawa was eaten with Roti Putih. I had bought 3 long packs from Tesco the day before and Dad went and bought One more long one as he only saw One hahaha. Oooh that was delicious. Atam had to abandon the cooking of the pulut to go with the Serawa as it was already half-gone even at the time of the idea! Durian, Rambutan, Manggis, Mangga (courtesy of Suhaimi and Mrs from next door) and some Mata Kucing I bought from Tesco. I'm not going to bother with explaining the Malay-oriented words I have used. If you can't undertand it, please do look it up in a dictionary. A bit too lazy to embellish.

So what next? My aspiring Pilot (wonder if that still applies) is leaving for Miri tomorrow to go back to school. He needs to finish up 2 more papers before he can move on to the next level. My Sweetheart will be flying back to Esfahan on Friday, and I am so-very-the-upset-one as I cannot send him to the airport as due to work commitments. KakDa's Phantom event will take place Friday evening - not that I'm good for anything except to fetch her after the show :) hey, Friday is still a work day! And then I have the weekend to look forward to, that will keep my mind off things a bit - Dad's coming over, both my Atams will be here, Saturday Golf Class, Atief's Reading Tuition, Adek's whining because he's bored when Atief's away at Tuition, Sunday Wedding event (ponteng the Taekwando again for the 3 young'uns). If all else is done, then I have to comfort myself in the fact that my friends update their facebook status every 5 seconds and the others will reply immediately as if they have nothing better to do, and I can read and follow and contribute on the numerous threads. Still, if all else fails, then I have my Farm on Farm Town!! heh heh heh

That pretty much sums it up I guess. I will probably just jump and plonk in bits of (useless) information from time to time. Depends on how stressful the story is ! Until then, no pictures for now :P

Mum, you would be proud soooo of me!

2009-07-20T17:50:00.003+08:00

Dear Mum,

Am very sorry that I have not written for so long. Well you know lah, I prefer to “story” you directly, then I can add in all the sound effects and the drama gets better! But today I have to settle for just typing them down je lah. Not that I really have much of a choice anyway..

Saturday went quite well, I think, despite some misgivings. You will be proud to know that I behaved myself! And very well, I must say. Although there were times when I was really tempted to explode – who in their right minds would accept “Congratulations on your new Mum” when I already have one? New? Did we just buy her off a supermarket shelf or something ? You mean we can actually get NEW Mums? (I know that first-time mothers who had just given birth are called New Mums, but that’s a different story la kan) Hey, just because Dad has a new wife, that doesn’t automatically make her my NEW Mum. Hmm somehow it doesn’t sound right.. oh yeah, but I held my own and graciously replied with “Que sera Sera”….and a grin! I doubt that many would not understand that one, eh? Or understand it even.. hehehe

I took a really lonnnng time getting ready, dressing up for the event. Well, Dad wanted me to play hostess, as you know already, not that I kenal half the people there la kan, the people from the surrounding areas. Adik-beradiks I can do. Thankfully the ratio was like 1:10 with 10 being the number for adik-beradiks. Many of the family couldn’t make it, as coming from KL would be rather difficult and then nak balik pulak dah late night. Nak book hotel kat situ pun, you know lah the limitations kan. Dah la pulak Monday tu holiday, but Perak only! This part was where I was a bit sensitive when orang tanya.. eh apasal nak balik Ahad jugak? And I sweetly answered “Abis cucu kan semua kat KL.. Monday sekolah kan?”. And to the remark that “Laaaaa you look exactly like your Mum!” hehehe compliment tu, Mum, that made it pretty clear everybody remembers you, rest assured! Well, and THAT was also pretty much why I didn’t make an earlier appearance to greet the 400-odd guests! But then again, it DID too contribute to a much grander entrance hahaha.

I wore a black kebaya with gold-ish kerawang, with the gold diamond kerongsang, of course! Oh and kain batik with sequins (uggh. Yeah, I know, I know) Didn’t have time to ikat any of your batik lepas, I would have loved to have done that though. Then a lot more people would be shocked to see me (you). The kain batik that I wore was already sewn - I bought it ready made. I remember watching you ikat the batik lepas dulu whenever you were going out to a function with Dad.. the sanggul and then the kebaya pendek sulam. And how you used to scold me when I re-enacted you dressing up – doing up a French bun, pulling the sarong to tighten it and finally putting on the baju and the pins hahaha but you enjoyed my little dramas and over-acting, I know . Oh yes, before the baju was the eyeliner and lipstick. Last baru baju kebaya. And the corset-girdle or whatever it was called, too. I can only maintain the eyeliner – can’t leave, won’t leave home without it. After all, I have been wearing eyeliner since I could walk! I don’t need a security blanket or pacifier, eyeliners are more vogue! Oh and did I tell you someone asked if I was protesting, since I wore black? To which I replied, sweetly as always, “Oh this is so I can show off all of Mum’s old jewellery!” Hahaha. You really should have been around to see their faces. Splatt.

The DJ (yes, for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why there was one as it was so inappropriate) started to spin and loudly commented on the ceremony, guests, lights, plates, food and everything under the sun, to which I promptly despatched Abang Atan (yay!!!) to go and silence him before I went to shut him up myself, with some violent actions! Anyway he went quiet but started up again when the lights died. Hmmm this time, I did go over and threatened to shoot his brains out if he was going to turn the event into a stupid circus. Well, that was what I WANTED to do, but I AM your very well-behaved daughter and was not about to create a scene; besides which I didn’t have a gun anyway. Bummer. Now THAT would have been fun!

So all in all I think it went quite well. The newbie was friendly; she wasn’t obtrusive at all and let me have my lights and glamour! Oh well, I knew some people were surprised that I had not kicked up a major fuss (apparently I was entitled to, what a waste that I did not know of it!), seeing that I was the only daughter left, the youngest in the family AND plus the fact that I had not met her until that evening itself! Oh well, in order to make the event move-flow-whatever, nicely, and to SHOW that I was sane in mind and knew perfectly what was going on around me, I told Dad I’d take charge of the moneys involved in the customary gift. And I worked very well within budget too, with a lot of help from some very good friends. (Remember my friends from school, Mum? The boarding school ones lah. The ones I was so engrossed with on the first day of school that I didn’t bother crying when you left me there, when you were bawling your eyes out driving away with Dad in the car.. hee hee sorry Mum) They are still a bunch of very good friends, my sisters, and I am proud to state that you also managed to have met them and enjoy their (then) silliness. Shhh, Mum, don’t tell them I said silly ok, but we were, back then, all of us, and fun to boot! You would be very pleased to know that my friends have all grown up to be fine ladies with professions to be proud of, they manage homes, families, companies, hospitals, the army, the internet, the traffic (both on the ground and in the air, mind you) and fight for what we believe is right. Excellent people, you know.. and they are MY friends !!!

Ooh, I started talking about the Newbie and I veered off towards my favourite subject, ME! Oh well, SHE is OK I guess, of course expectations are never one-sided. But you know Dad. What, 65 years? Hehehe you loved complaining to me about his negative traits, simply because you wanted to announce the fact that you have been together for sooooo very long. Don’t think I didn’t know that trick! I can always spot them from a mile off, remember ? And this is not just about Dad and us adjusting to her, it is also about her accepting us all as we are, as we always have been. It always has to work both ways, kan? Well, as I have been saying every time, “Que Sera Sera” (I also remember you singing that song). My take on this all is to ADD to memories and adventures of our family’s life, not to remove and replace. There is no replacement as there never can be. And to compete with something that has already been, is simply pointless. New expectations can be set, but of course within reason. Easier said than done, I know, but I think you do see my point kan? No need and reason for theatrics lah in this case, ye tak? Buang karan je nanti pun..

Err, Mum, my fingers are now rather sore from the typing... so I hope you don’t mind if I stop here for now. There are definitely a lot more I want to tell you about, but I would probably write another time. So for now, just rest assured that everything will be fine, so not to worry. It just needs a bit of adjustment and changing the status quo from denial.com to acceptance.com. Don’t worry if you think I’m not speaking proper English again, this is just me being playful. Which as always is what I enjoy when telling you stories. I miss doing that you know, telling you stories, exaggerating the scenarios, and hearing you and Nyah laughing and giggling your err, heads, off.. And I will be OK, Mum, InsyaAllah. Really. Don’t worry about me. Worst thing that can happen to me is that I’ll just simply have another nervous breakdown. Hahaha, that was a joke, Mum ! Relax will you?

Bye now, until next time, I love you!

My Birth Month Quiz

2009-03-18T09:53:00.004+08:00

You know the many tests and quizzes on Facebook? They can get to you, yeah? Well I did another one.. this was fun - there were a few questions (if I could fail, I think I would have, ha ha ha) and then the results came out -- tadaaaaa! Here goes.. and I obviously could not resist responding in my own fashion. Itchy fingers. Go on.. read it and see if you think this fits me. I mean, the Quiz's evaluation..

So I’m a May child and after some of the pertinent questions.. (the image is a bit blurred tho')

Lippies Beautiful

2009-02-12T17:07:00.004+08:00

My invisible freind saw my pouch on the table in front of me and got curious...
He asked what did I have in there ? So I said.. "Oh the usual stuff.." "You mean what you always bring to the office ?" "Nope, this is my travel pouch" "Oh Ok... So, what DO you have in there then ?"

"A couple of lipsticks, among other things", I said. I took out my 'couple of lipsticks' and didn't stop there ! Ha ha ha.. my 'couple of' turned out to be 6! He must have thought I was a freak :) oh but then I'm a girl, so there's nothing weird there. Now, If I Was A Boy.. now that would be different, kan ?

So here's what I had today (and will be so for a few more months probably)

Clockwise From top:
Estee Lauder - Pure Color 142 Bronze Idol
Clarins - Joli Rouge 717
Clarins - Colour Quench Lip Balm 06
Estee Lauder - Signature 35 Rich Red
Clarins Lip Colour Tint- 02
Clarins - Joli Rouge 705 Soft Berry

Nice colours aren't they ? The invisible one commented "If THAT's how many you have in your travel pouch.. I don't think I want to know how many you have at home... Scary !" Oh well, to each his own !! Ha ha ha

Long Time No See

2009-02-08T14:10:00.006+08:00

Wow... it's been really long since I last wrote. So, what's been happening ? A real lot !

End November : Project went LIVE !!!! Oh great ! Finally. Although we have only just one more module a bit delayed, the others went ahead as planned. Next will be the support phases, now as I'm writing this, the Warranty period has lasped for the main mods. Only left is the single module, until mid March.

December Mid to End : went on a fantabulous holiday with the whole family. Daddy came along ;) that's where the 'fanta' came from in fabulous! Hu Hu It was a tiring round but lovely none-the-less. It was KL-Dubai-Tehran-Esfahan-Mashad-Tehran-Dubai-Paris. Spent a week in Paris- 4 at the Disneyland Parc,and 3 in the city. Then it was Paris-Dubai-KL for us and Paris-Dubai-Tehran-Esfahan for my darling. Pics ? Ada.. Banyak !!! but have plonked it my Facebook pages.

January CNY holidays : Went back to Taiping to visit Daddy and attend a nephew of hubby's (son of his cousin) weddin. That was on Sunday noon. By 4pm kiddies and I were all (Daddy included) happily story-ing away with my Atam on his island home on SukaSuka Pulau Dang Lang in Chenderoh ! Blissful 2 nights there of Kayaking, enjoying the water, marvellous food and family. There were unplanned family joiners - initially was supposed to be just me, kiddies and Daddy. Then Acik heard we were there, and decided to join 6-strong from Ipoh, and then Abang Long also decided to stop-over to see his Dad. They were 4-strong. All together that Monday night saw 4 generations of Haji Abdul Manaf on the island, with 14-people on board ! Now this one I have photos of, also on Facebook - but will post one of the family here :) Too bad Nyah's group couldn't join us there although they very much wanted to.

I got sun-burnt soooo bad from this lovely holiday. Although I'm not so bothered by the fact of how I look. The skin was still burning when I got back to work, so decided to soothe it with a Fruit of the Earth's Aloe Vera Gel that I bought. Unfortunately I am not partial to Aloe Vera, natural or otherwise ! I developed a very bad allergic reaction and my face was all puffed up and broke out. My arms and legs too suffered, pratically everywhere the gel was applied ! Oh well. So now I know better :)

Haji Abdul Manaf 4 gens - on SukaSuka Homestay on Pulau Dang Lang, Tasik Chenderoh, Kuala Kangsar

Post CNY : The mood to work still needs a little bit of boosting apparently.. Ha ha and plus the fact that the pace in the office is kinda slow, everybody's back from projects gone live and the place is again full of people ! and you can bet that laughter is everywhere... I got stuck at home on Thursday - haha my auto gate gave way and I couldnt get the car out to work. Luckily we could get one gate open, so the kids managed to get to school as usual when the driver came to pick them up. Me ? Worked from home the morning, until the specialist/consultant came to fix the gate and cajoled Rm480 out of me (it was already agreed actually). No, I don't usually keep a lot of cash with me, it's just that I dropped by the bank the night before to withdraw money to pay off my cred cards.. So a zoom-zoom off to work in a relatively jam-free environment.. Yahooo !

Today : Hmm Today. What has happened today ? Normal routine -
0900 hrs - KakDa and Atief go for their Taekwando session
1030 - Arief goes for his Taekwando session and KakDa and Atief come home from theirs
1200 - Fetch Arief.
1230 - Lunch
1400 - Mum sits to start composing idiotics on her blog :)

So the rest of the day will be spent mostly lazing/cleaning/lazing. I have the TV on and they're showing Taboo on Nat Geo, I suppose in conjunction with the upcoming Val's Day. This programme's about people and their loved ones who are serving time in prisons allover the world. But the stories are mostly of Westerners. Hmmmm.

Planning to watch Pink Panther 2 tonight at the TGV in Sunway. Have booked teh tix online. The boys say they want to come too, so we'll meet up there around 8:45pm. The show's on at 9:40pm. Tomorrow will be a lie-in... hu hu hu !

Now.. my eyes are getting sleepy. I hope I can put in a bit more in before I doze off...

Different pair ? REALLY ?

2008-12-01T00:24:00.003+08:00

Following my recent footwear fiasco ~

This really happened. At work - I asked my colleagues, AND at home with the kids and the maid!

When i asked the GUYS, it went more or less like this.....
"look ! look at what i have on today !"
"errr... what am i looking at, exactly ?"
"my shoes, lah"
"errr... ahaaaa.... so ?"
"i got the wrong pair on !"
"errr.. really ? i can't see the difference?"
"issshhhhh... one black, and one is brown, lah"
"haaa ? really ka ? nampak serupa je.. ok la tu"
"eh, mana boleh, kan lain ? kena tukar aaaaa"
"lerrrr... kaler dah dekat samer, ok la tu"
"eh, pesen dia pun lain lah oi.."
"mana ? takder pun ? aku tengok samaaaa jer ?"
"laaaa tengok betul betull, kan ke the black pair is slim flat toe, the brown is rounded..."
"ye ker ? apsal aku tengok cam sama je pun ?"

Showed (ALL) the girls....
"look ! look at what i have on today !"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA..... HOW COME LAAAAAA YOU........ "

So my conclusion ? Girls will always come out tops in detailing :) .. AND we're definitely sharper !

Bad Boots Day hehehe

2008-11-26T11:46:00.003+08:00

Ha ha ha call it my Bad Boots Day since I can't complain about a bad hair day :D

Had a tummy ache this morning so was in a rush to get to work. Grabbed my boots and off I went. I noticed that it was odd that my brown Nine West's had a soft padding inside, but let it go. Got to work and ... tadaaaa !! I understood the reason ! Ha ha ha... seems that during lunch I'll have to go get another pair of shoes from the car. If there's none there (am driving my Sweetheart's S80 today).. well may just have to go get me a new pair of shoes ? Excuses Excuses !!

I need a hug :(

2008-11-17T22:55:00.002+08:00

Haven't fully recovered from my kof kof session, now I've caught whatever it is the kids got :( Am feeling so down. My head hurts. My body's aching big time. I have a fever that has a mind of it's own and it's usually trying the best of me just when I have a ton of work to do. My temperature's gone up again and the antibiotic's not very quick this time. Oh well, what do you expect when I've gone throught the plethora and testing which I am or not allergic to !

So now this self-pitying sickly person is going to just shut up and hope for a wonderful - no, just a simple happy will do, actually - tomorrow 18th November 2008, with a fervent prayer that my beloved will not totally forget me on our special day...

........

Winging it..

2008-11-05T21:07:00.003+08:00

Have a new assignment, and got shipped out without really much notice ! New role, mad to have me in this role, man ! But I'm only whining, not complaining. Given this kind of work oppurtunity I wouldn't have been to dream of otherwise :)

My only grouse is that I don't have enough knowledge of the main modules that we're implementing, and that's the part that's killing me. Otherwise ? Love the challenge!!

Been told before that I deliver my best under unusual circumstances, and I'm definitely winging this one... Wish me luck !!

Moving ? Yes. Really ? Errrrr....

2008-10-15T10:00:00.002+08:00

A work colleague recently asked me - "Are you moving ? Are you changing your job ?" (direct translation from Akak nak pindah ? Akak nak tukar kerja ke ?) To which I responded "No.... I was looking forward to change, yes, to coming back to the office and doing a bit of HR Ops work, which would be different dfrom what I have been doing so far" which was not entirely untrue :). SO WHO WAS IT WHO LET OUT THAT I WAS PLANNING TO LEAVE ? hahaha....

I had pondered leaving my current job, to go do something more fulfilling. Not to say that this current role is not, but I had been in such a highly charged environment where I was burning up my fat reserves at a rate faster than zooming on the highway at 110km/h (hey, that's the official speed limit, demons !). Now is a walk in the park.. no, more of a leisurely stroll. I was looking for something more consuming than sitting on my butt all day. Something that required me to be actively planning for other people, planning their career path and thence on their lives. Coaching them. Mentoring. I miss meeting new people everyday, talking and inquiring and getting feedback on what is happening with their lives. I hate sitting down on my backside all the hours. i need to get my adrenaline charged up again. That is when I jumped on an oppurtunity for a job interview. I had a great time, exploring something new and different - but alas that could not come to fruition. As even if I loved the idea of the new role, I still want my holiday at the end of the year. I still want my trip in the middle of next year. And those are the times when that role will peak in its work demands.

So here I am, back in the main office, and making myself look for new things to do. For one, harassing the HR Ops team of one person on the whys things are not operationally perfect. But I am not all talk, I have offered my services into re-looking at the processes that are available (NOT!) and will help plan for a better future (mine! :) ) at work for all of us. At least I can then shut myself up if the processes that should be there are in place, and if not perfect, I will have also myself to blame. Oh.. my offer has been taken up and I can start meddling, immediately ! that is, as soon as after the COO discusses with the HR person.. Once that is done, I can then agree on the strategy on how she can benefit from my well-intentioned interference.

So, all is not lost, no ? If what you want is not immediately there, create the need for it, then offer your assistance - just make sure you know what exactly it is that you're getting yourself into... ha ha ha ha

SPM Results (Repeat 2008) for Maths and BM

2008-10-13T10:34:00.001+08:00

Keputusan SPM (Ulangan) 16 Oktober

KUALA LUMPUR 9 Okt. - Keputusan Peperiksaan Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) (Ulangan) Tahun 2008 akan dikeluarkan 16 Oktober.

Kementerian Pelajaran berkata slip keputusan itu akan diposkan Jabatan Pelajaran Negeri kepada semua calon pada hari berkenaan.

Seramai 18,337 calon menduduki peperiksaan itu pada 24 dan 25 Jun lepas, kata kementerian dalam kenyataan di sini hari ini.

- Bernama

Twittering happily for now

2008-09-24T10:22:00.002+08:00

Twit... twit... Twitter ! I've got Twitter on my iPhone, and now here and on my Facebook page ! Hooray !

Now, let's see how long I can keep this up... hee hee

wish wish wish

2008-09-11T14:39:00.002+08:00

i wish i had the time to write a lot
i wish i had the time to write a bit more
i wish i had the time to write about the things i want to write about
i wish i wish i wish

Not content being a Gemini, I'm also ESFP !

2008-09-05T00:01:00.009+08:00

I was curious and (re)took a new Personality type test. I'd taken one sometime in late 90's in order to find a job area that was best suited to my personality then. I can't exactly remember what the results of that test were, but I don't think it would have strayed much from what I am today.

So, the results ? I am an ESFP. What's that then ? Ok, I'm putting my results description of What and ESFP person is like. They share the same description with an ESTP person:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dominant Extraverted Sensing
ESTP & ESFP What is it like?
By Danielle Poirier
www.RebelEagle.com
© copyright Rebel Eagle Productions

Extraverted sensing types are pragmatic and realistic with a zest for living life to the fullest by way of multiplying experiences. Always on the alert for what needs immediate attention or what might provide a bit of action, excitement or entertainment, they engage quickly with their environment. They seek and enjoy freedom, are good-natured, direct, and tolerant and are often the ones who provide levity.

They have a way with dealing with people on a very equal platform and are not easily star struck. Rank, celebrity and status mean little when they are face to face with another individual.

On the job, they appreciate having the right tools and are quite ingenious at finding ways to fix and repair things with dexterity. They love variety and are curious and adventurous, enjoying the unexpected. Their brand of extraversion is one of deeds rather than words. As long as things are moving along, they are happy. They like to keep things simple and immediate, going with the flow. They are helpful in very concrete ways, providing the correct tools or specific service the person requires. They often have an uncanny ability to respond appropriately in cases of emergencies, often having excellent reflexes. They act without thinking. They also tend to have natural mediating skills.

They are attuned to the environment and the myriad colours, textures, sounds, beauty and the sensuousness of it all. They are quite graceful and agile while moving through their environment. They love having fun and if things are too quiet they may provide the entertainment or distraction. They learn by imitation and are keen observers. They teach through example. Their attention will always go towards whatever provides the keenest impression on their senses.

(You can access more info off the net if you Google with MBTI. I used the test result from the online test I took on Cognitive Style Inventory© most recent revision 12/12/06 - Ross Reinhold, INTJ www.PersonalityPathways.com. The information that I have put here is just a bit to introduce the idea)

(Another extract on a summary for what an ESFP person is like from http://www.capt.org/mbti-assessment/type-descriptions.htm)

ESFP

For ESFPs the dominant quality in their lives is their enthusiastic attention to the outer world of hands-on and real-life experiences.
ESFPs are excited by continuous involvement in new activities and new relationships. ESFPs also have a deep concern for people, and they show their caring in warm and pragmatic gestures of helping. ESFPs are typically energetic and adaptable realists, who prefer to experience and accept life rather than to judge or organize it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There you go. However, this of course does not define me as a whole ! There's still a lot to consider - the Gemini factor, the Wow! Factor (hahahaha), the alignment of the Moon and Stars when I was born, the Islamic Calendar date, the Gregorian Calendar date, Living and Growing environment, my Loves, Health, the Weather, the Feng Shui elements, and whatever Other Elements that a person is able to study and refer to. I am complicated and will always be. I will myself keep learning a new little bit of me everyday for as long as I live !

Come take my journey with me. Until I know who I truly am, bear with me !! :)

Hooray !! Ramadhan is here !

2008-09-01T09:22:00.003+08:00

Oh yay yippee !! Ramadhan is here again after a much-awaited lonnnnnng wait (hahaha repeat and d*mn yourself - pardon me, I didn't just swear, did I ?) After a whole year of waiting, the fasting month is back ! Ooh the lovely things that can happen in Ramadhan - and I am NOT talking about the food okay. It is a month of miracles, prayer and hope. Lots of ibadah int he form of tarawikh sessions, encouraging yourself to do more good deeds and generally promote brother/sisterhood "ikhwah" with your actions. It is also a bit sad again, as the family is going through this month a second time without Mum and Sis. I can still hear Mum saying every EidlFitr morning "I wonder if I will live long enough to see another Ramadhan... I hope Allah will grant me that" and no she and Sis didn't get to greet Ramadhan last year, as they had fulfilled their promise of their time with us, with all the extensions of delay given.

My children are all observing the fast, each in their own way. I hope they fulfill their obligations to the fullest of their capacity. Two are spending the month away - my Sweetheart is working away (and they don't start until Tuesday), and the Pilot is now in Miri. Called him last night to remind him of Today being THE day and he said yeah, he'd heard the announcement over the TV. Today is also a Public Holiday as the Malaysia National Day 31st August was a Sunday. We get a replacement Public Holiday on Monday which is good ! The kids get to sleep in :)

Abtief is strong - he's a pro now, all of 10 years old. They all started at the 7th year - when at school in Primary 1. Full month, mind you, not the "yangyuk" kind where "tengahari bukak periuk" (half-day fast) And this would be Adik's 2nd year of full fast, he was quite eagerly reciting the duaas and niyahs for starting a fast. KakDa reminded him that it's in the heart that matters most - so even if you "lafaz" recite it wrong (in arabic) you get it right in your heart with the intent.

This is also the first formal puasa month to be observed by my friend Nur Iman Irdina... All my best to her in her new life.

So today we will also see a hive of activity at the Pasar Ramadhan just 7 minute's walk from home. All the lovely goodies that will be displayed for breaking of fast. The vendors must be pretty busy today, and people will start coming early as today is a Rest Day and many are excited. There will be a lot of people a usual, and many would be the Non-Muslims who also look forward to the Pasar Ramadhan every year as this is their opportunity to sample some of the food and goodies that are not available otherwise. This is the unique Malaysian food galore !

Oh well, we'll see what we'll have today. I plan to limit to purchasing just 3 items - 1 dish, 1 savoury and 1 sweet. We shall see how that plan stays true...

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan alMubarak !! greetings for another brilliant month of Ramadhan from me..

Lunch and a Ghost Story..

2008-08-29T18:10:00.002+08:00

Had lunch with an old friend at the Latest Recipe Restaurant (if I’m not mistaken it was formerly known as One on One) at the Le Meridien, in Sentral. It was a long-time-no-see and when-was-the-last-time-we-had-lunch-together lunch, which was wonderful!! After the usual how are you and how is work questions, we inevitably started talking about MY work life ! hahaha I only realised how bad it was for me when I said “Hey, what do you think it’s like when the highlight of my day at work is Where/When are we going for Morning Coffee/Lunch/Tea” ? OMG I never realised that was how pathetic it had become for me. I’d been feeling a bit dead lately, and not keen to go to work in the mornings. In fact, I actually have a big task of dragging myself out of the comfort of my bed/bathroom/bedroom/house every morning. My friend was shocked as I was known to be someone who was at work by 7:45am (I used to be the one to open the fire doors in the morning) and the last to leave (and close the fire doors behind me). Thinking of which, if there was no camera to record the visitors at the entrance, no one would know that the fire doors aren’t shut at night if I didn’t do it !

As to how late I usually stayed at work, I even remember this one occasion when I had an ‘encounter’ – I was working very, very late at night and all alone – was the only one there on my floor. I heard a cough somewhere near the copier, but I knew there wasn’t anyone else in the office. As the copier was next to the stairwell, I dismissed the sound as probably coming from a security guard making his rounds. I checked the time, it was getting close to the midnight witching hour. I still had a bit to do, the MD wanted it before 6am so he could start work on it (no kidding !!) So I just went on working on my report. Then I heard it again. This time, the cough was closer, like somewhere in the cubicle in front of mine. Checked the time again on my desk clock, 1:30am. Oh well. I had WORK to do, didn’t I ? 2:00am and the cough this time was next to my left ear !.. My hands froze. Hmmmm, how now, brown cow ? Oh well, feigning bravado (funny thing is, I had no visible audience hahahah), I said out loud, “Ok, Ok… I know it’s late and that I should get myself home, but I do have work and Bala is waiting for this, and it is important!! Just let me finish this tab and I’ll pack up after.” So I feigned work a bit (can you honestly work any more ? hahaha) shutdown my laptop, calmly put it in my backpack, cleaned my desk of papers I don’t need, walked over to my Manager’s room, switched off her lights and printer which I was using, locked her room door, switched of the lights at my place, walked out through the training room, switched off those lights and the ones at reception, walked out the glass door (coolly, mind you), shut the fire doors, walked down the corridor to the other fire door, went through that, and RAN LIKE HELL !!! I think if the whatever was watching me, he must have laughed his head off (or any other part of his body that is still there, that is).

I have had other encounters similar to that while working in different areas of that office, but this was the funniest. One thing I felt (or is it just me :P ) is that the whatevers are harmless. They have never had any bad intentions towards me – they have been rather cordial and friendly – keeping me awake, reminding me to go home etc. So my take on it is that I have been lucky that none have ever harmed me (well, maybe one had bad interntions but respected when I scolded…). They are there whatever they are and they share our space. Maybe it was just their way of letting me know that they want THEIR quality time hahaha

Oh where was I ? I went off at a tangent !! A large one ! Well it’s my blog, and I obviously can choose to write about whatever I want, yes ? Okay to recap my lunch, I was asked to consider if I would like to join my friend instead of fattening my behind at whatever I was doing now. But of course it has to be agreeable and acceptable both ways. The idea of me joining has to be presented to both our respective Managers (the Ops manager and My Darling Sweetheart hehehehe) and also must be a win-win accomplishment (I want to go for my December holiday and that is when work is expected to peak !!) So we’ll see how it goes, should know by next week on the outcome.

Wish me luck ? :D

Ouching day

2008-08-27T12:35:00.002+08:00

Woke up with a bad throat today. Feels sore. After a bad night where I couldn’t sleep, I figured something like this would happen. My left thigh hurts too, when I walk or even sit. My eyes are heavy and warm on the inside. All the aches and pains seem like a sign that there’s more to come ! Oh well, after the soaking that I got yesterday, I suppose this is expected. I just hope that when Ramadan actually arrives, I will have no problems.

Got news yesterday about my old work-place getting eaten up by Infosys, a huge India outfit. They are buying Axon CASH… read about it here http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/c58dea5c-72a0-11dd-983b-0000779fd18c.html or just Google “Axon Infosys” and you’ll get at least a dozen more news articles. Had lunch with some of my old friends from Axon yesterday and as things go, they’ll just wait and see what else will happen. It was a good lunch with them at the Thai restaurant, and since they graciously exclaimed “Eh, you are so much thinner now lah ?!” upon first chance of meeting me, I decided to pay for their lunch !! Ha ha ha

At the same time, I met a few other old friends from the same place.. great to see them. Linda, who decided to shop for groceries while her car was being cleaned, and a couple of others. One who had just got engaged on 08.08.2008 (Congrats Neeza, sorry I couldn’t be there with you on your special day) and a lovely surprise in the form of Nur Iman Irdina (I hope I spelt that correctly) who officially reverted to Islam on the same day ! Wonderful news and I pray that she will find the solace she seeks and that Allah will continue to guide her and her beloved family.

No pictures, unfortunately, as they girls were looking a bit forlorn with the news and probable uncertainties that life just might present for them in the future. I thought it would not be good form to publish pictures of them when they are not expecting to look their best..

oh well. that's life.

The Gemini Trail

2008-08-24T00:02:00.002+08:00

Finding out Robert Ludlum was a Gemini, I went looking for a few more, and hopefully one that shared my birthday. I did a Google search and one of the sites that came up was this one -- http://www.dsexls.com/astrology-gemini-horoscope-and-famous-gemini-people.html

I can't believe this.. of the many famous Geminis listed below, not as many were born in the month of May compared to June. Of that small amount, only one shared my birthdate.. ONE ! and it has to be a political person at that ! I don't much fancy myself being in polictics, more of the drama queen.. obviously would prefer toshare my birthday with an artiste or a celebrity :D But then again, how many in that line would actually declare their birthdays ? ha ha ha So go on and enjoy the names below on some famous Geminis. I'll post some others that I can find lower down..

Famous Gemini People

Well-Known Personality Of Gemini Horoscope
Date Of Birth	Famous Gemini	Date Of Birth	Famous Gemini
22 May 1970 23 May 1933 24 May 1819 25 May 1969 25 May 1963 26 May 1907 27 May 1923 28 May 1968 28 May 1944 29 May 1903 29 May 1917 30 May 1964 31 May 1965 31 May 1930 01 June 1926 01 June 1973 01 June 1982 01 June 1926 02 June 1941 03 June 1926 04 June 1975 05 June 1956 06 June 1955	Naomi Campbell Joan Collins Queen Victoria Anne Heche Mike Myers John Wayne Henry Kissinger Kylie Minogue Rudy Giuliani Bob Hope John F. Kennedy Wynonna Judd Brooke Shields Clint Eastwood Andy Griffith Heidi Klum Justine Henin Marilyn Monroe Stacy Keach Allen Ginsberg Angelina Jolie Kenny G Sandra Bernhard	07 June 1981 07 June 1917 07 June 1940 08 June 1925 08 June 1983 08 June 1976 09 June 1961 10 June 1965 10 June 1921 11 June 1939 12 June 1924 13 June 1953 14 June 1946 14 June 1969 15 June 1964 16 June 1938 17 June 1946 17 June 1980 18 June 1942 19 June 1962 20 June 1949 20 June 1967 21 June 1935	Anna Kournikova Dean Martin Tom Jones Barbara Bush Kim Clijsters Lindsay Davenport Michael J. Fox Elizabeth Hurley Prince Philip Christina Crawford George Bush Tim Allen Donald Trump Steffi Graf Courtney Cox Joyce Carol Oates Barry Manilow Venus Williams Paul McCartney Paula Abdul Lionel Richie Nicole Kidman Francoise Sagan

I took this from the same site... obviously luuurrrvvvvvvvve the Positive Characteristics description :D

Positive Characteristics Of Gemini	Intellectual, Witty, Inquisitive, Intuitive, Affectionate, Courteous, Kind, Generous, Honest, Social, Eloquent, Brave, Humorous, Leadership, Broad-Minded, Diplomatic, Lively
Negative Characteristics Of Gemini	Temperamental, Fickle, Boastful, Quarrelsome, Arrogant, Devious, Manipulative, Two Faced, Argumentative, Restless, Childish, Indecisive, Nervous, Insensitive, Inconsistent, Cunning
Ideal Careers For Gemini	Acting, Comedian, Teacher, Debater, Broadcaster, Travel Agent, Sales Person, Diplomats, Authors, Poets, Journalists, Lawyers
Gemini Ideal Partners	Gemini, Libra, Aquarius
Gemini Compatible Signs	Gemini, Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Libra, Aquarius

Other famous Geminis
and not forgetting -- May 25, 1927 - Robert Ludlum

May 24, 1944 - Patti Labelle - Singer
May 24, 1955 - Roseanne Cash - Singer
May 25, 1567 - Claudio Monteverdi - Composer
May 25, 1803 - Ralph Waldo Emerson - Writer
May 25, 1899 - Gene Tunney - Pugilist
May 25, 1898 - Bennet Cerf - Writer
May 26, 1867 - Queen Mary - England Royalty
May 26, 1920 - Peggie Lee - Singer
May 26, 1948 - Stevie Nicks - Singer
May 26, 1923 - James Arness - Actor
May 27, 1878 - Isadora Duncan - Dancer
May 27, 1907 - Rachel Carson - Scientist/Activist
May 27, 1911 - Hubert Humphrey - Politician
May 27, 1911 - Vincent Price - Actor
May 27, 1922 - Christopher Lee - Actor
May 27, 1923 - Henry Kissinger - Statesman
May 27, 1937 - Louis Gossett, Jr - Actor
May 28, 1908 - Ian Flemming - Writer
May 28, 1934 - The Dionne quintuplets - Famous Children
May 28, 1944 - Gladys Knight - Singer
May 28, 1947 - Sondra Locke - Actress
May 29, 1903 - Bobe Hope - Comdian
May 29, 1917 - John F. Kennedy - American President
May 29, 1958 - Annette Benning - Actress
May 30, 1474 - Albrecht Durer - Artist
May 30, 1908 - Mel Blanc - Cartoon Voices
May 30, 1964 - Wynona Judd - Singer
May 31, 1898 - Norman Vincent Peale - Clergyman
May 31, 1923 - Prince Rainier III - Royalty
May 31, 1930 - Clint Eastwood - Actor
May 31, 1943 - Joe Namath - Sports Figure
May 31, 1950 - Gregory Harrison - Actor

Reading again

2008-08-22T00:30:00.008+08:00

Have resolved to start reading again. So am starting with my Bourne book (yup, same one, bought it wayyyyyyy back, I know.. I know... :P ) and then to follow up with my other new book (ha ha yes I bought another one !) Criminal Minds : Killer Profile. I enjoy the TV Series, I assume the book should be better !

Have here the synopsis of the books, from Barnes & Noble (www.bn.com) . Also included the bio of the writers. Robert Ludlum is one of my more favoured writers, let's see how Eric Lustbader (does rhyme with Darth Vader, heh) fares in the continuation.

Robert Ludlum's The Bourne Betrayal by Robert Ludlum (Created by), Eric Van Lustbader, Robert Ludlum

Synopsis

Two months after Jason Bourne's second wife has dies, he learns that Martin Lindros, his only friend in the CIA, went missing in Africa where he was tracking shipments of yellowcake uranium. After Bourne finds him, Martin returns to the U.S., but only after he persuades Bourne to go to Odessa to penetrate the clandestine world of terrorist money men there.

In Odessa, Bourne is hampered by confusing flashes of memories. He becomes convinced that they're false, but who planted them and why? And how can he function if he can't rely on his own memories? Eventually, Bourne figures out that the man he saved in Africa isn't his friend but a double, a terrorist intent on sending Bourne off on a wild goose chase while he himself steals U.S. intelligence and uses the information to coordinate an attack against a major U.S. city using nuclear devices.

The double, continuing to pose as Martin Lindros, orders a world-wide sanction against Bourne. Now, Bourne must fight off attempts on his life, track down uranium, and stop terrorists from launching an even more devastating attack against the

U.S.

Biography

Robert Ludlum was the author of 21 novels, each a New York TimesThe Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy, and The Bourne Ultimatum—he was the author of The Scarlatti Inheritance, The Chancellor Manuscript, and The Apocalypse Watch, among many others. Mr. Ludlum passed away in March, 2001.

Author biography courtesy of Random House, Inc.

Name:

Robert Ludlum

Also Known As:
Jonathan Ryder and Michael Shepherd

Date of Birth:
May 25, 1927 (Heyyyyyyy.... he's another Geminian !!!)

Date of Death
March 12, 2001

Place of Death
Naples, Florida

Education:
B.A., Wesleyan University, 1951

Criminal Minds: Killer Profile by Max Allan Collins

Synopsis

An elite team of FBI profilers is called in to help Chicago detectives investigate a series of bizarre murders. Though all are violent and disturbing, the crimes seem unrelated—until profiler David Rossi makes the connection. He recognizes each grisly tableau as one modeled on the crime scenes of three of the country's most notorious serial killers: David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy, and Jeffrey Dahmer.

Someone is taking the cult of true crime to terrifying extremes, and with so many killers left to emulate, Rossi wonders how he can possibly profile a killer who's hiding within the killer profiles of others...

Biography: Max Allan Collins (taken from http://www.harpercollins.com/authors/19719/Max_Allan_Collins/index.aspx)

Max Allan Collins is the author of the Shamus Award-winning Nathan Heller historical thrillers. His other books include the New York Times bestseller Saving Private Ryan and the USA Today bestselling CSI series. His comics writing ranges from the graphic novel Road to Perdition, source of the Tom Hanks film, to long runs as scripter of the Dick Tracy comic strip and his own innovative Ms. Tree. Collins is also a screenwriter and a leading indie filmmaker in his native Iowa, where he lives with his wife, writer Barbara Collins, and their son, Nathan.

My Plant's first Bloom ! and my (not-so-actually) new wind chime

2008-08-21T13:49:00.003+08:00

Oh Happy Day... My plant bloomed it's first flower ! A white one. Am not sure what it's called LOL - anyone has an idea ? I think I know, but I'm not going to risk embarrassing myself ha ha ha

Another windchime added to the small garden.. Have 2 now, this one is a bit louder. Got this one from Living Cabin too. They have a quite a bit of good garden stuff there. This chime has a little Grocery Store as the top bit.

Subway dinner

2008-08-19T20:00:00.005+08:00

Since the children forgot that they had to dress proper for the golf course (collared shirts, no jeans) we ended up hitting balls at the driving range. Did 300 for all - The Girl and Adik was just too lazy. Surprised that Abtief asked for another round, apparently unhappy with his swing. So we shared the last 100.

After that we headed for the Subway Restaurant nearest to the house. I had a craving for Honey Oat with what ever filling ha ha ha but I had the Club. And so... the bill came to as follows.... but it was worth it as we finished every bit. I'd rather go for Subway over McD anytime.

Soda nak ikut !

2008-08-18T13:26:00.004+08:00

Getting ready to leave for work this morning. I opened my car door, and Soda runs in and settles himself on the 'look-out' point at the back... Had to coax him out, with a promise to take him for a ride in the evening. It was raining and I didn't have the time to take him for a ride before work.

Yes, I do talk to my cat, and yes, he understands, and yes, he does talk back !

Pics from the 40th Anniversary event

2008-08-17T00:00:00.003+08:00

Pics with my Dad, nephew, aunt, cousins, cousins and more cousins !

The Feng Shui water fountain

2008-08-16T14:04:00.004+08:00

Ever heard of a Feng Shui water fountain ? I loved this one the first time I saw it. Went all over town looking for it :) They had run out of stock. I found this one at the Mid Valley Living Cabin ! Yay !!!! Listed as RM105, but they had a sale so we got it at 10% off.

Now I have a water feature outside the house and one INSIDE as well :) It's so soothing to look at and sits very nicely on the sideboard. It doesn't sound loud but I already have the aquarium's water flow providing the sound of water in the house.

Andra and The Backbone - Sempurna

2008-08-13T15:44:00.002+08:00

My Sweetheart usually comes to mind when I sing this.. or is it the other way around ?

Kau begitu sempurna
Dimataku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diriku akan slalu memujimu

Disetiap langkahku
Kukan slalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu

Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna... Sempurna...

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku

Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna... Sempurna...

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku

Ungu - Tercipta Untukku

2008-08-13T15:39:00.002+08:00

Love this song. The lyrics are beautiful..

Menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
Membuatku terdiam dan terpaku
Mengerti akan hadirnya citra terindah
Bila kau peluk mesra tubuhku

Banyak kata yang tak mampu
Kuungkapkan kepada dirimu...

Aku ingin engkau selalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Di setiap langkah yang menyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku

Sepanjang hidupku

Aku ingin engkau selalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Di setiap langkah yang menyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku

Pasti waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tahu ku selalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu
Sepanjang hidupku..

Durian oh Durian

2008-08-13T12:17:00.007+08:00

I have always loved durian. Eaten fresh from the kulit, with santan and nasi, buat kuah pengat durian with santan and gula melaka.. Yum !! Also like durian ice cream and the cake variant. Teringat when I was about 7, went to my neighbour's birthday party. Came home gushing to Mum about how lovelythe cake was - durian cake ! Mum called up Auntie S and asked her for the recipe and baked me one - but I said it tasted different, and it wasn't the same one. Well it obviously was not THE same one !

Had some durian last night, Zahir wanted to eat the last one that we had and he got makcik to open it up. He finished the last piece just as Abtif asked for his ! Ouch.... And Adik said he had not had any either.. hee hee so told Zahir to drive out to the main road near the masjid to buy some more, and to ajak Tok to pick. Off they went and brought home 4 big ones. And he returned me the Rm50 I had given him - Tok belanja durian tonight!

2 of the durians were still young, kulit still hijau and tak nampak pun the belah yet.. so it was the pisau for them. That's when i got my durian thumb - got poked by the thorn of the big one. My bad - i should have 'smacked' the torns down earlier before attempting to open any of it.. but the durian flesh was yummy ! no 'gas' though, these were the siamese variety. The Malaysian ones would be more 'gassy' = yummy ! So Bapak had his fill of durian with rice - made some santan for him and he added a sprinkle of sugar to go with it. And malam ? He cannot tidor because too 'panas' hahaha I made sure I had some water in the 'kulit' durian - put drinking water into the skin cavity where the durian flesh used to be, and drink the water. This is a 'petua' ( loosely translated as 'wise action as practiced by the elders and handed down as advice') for reducing the heatiness in the body caused by eating durian.

Craving

2008-08-11T11:21:00.004+08:00

I'm craving for a Baskin-Robbins sorbet,
in Rainbow..

and probably add some Manggo to make it even more fruity

I seriously need a pick-me-up !

From Our Heart to Yours

2008-08-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

Happy 40th Anniversary - Ayah Pa and Wan Fuziah

Got them this as a gift for their anniversary. I had a pretty gold-coloured card with a single heart swirl motif on it to go with the box of pretty cupcakes. In my haste I forgot to get a pic of the box all ready with it's gold ribbon and card on top.. I had written in the card "From our heart to yours, Happy 40th Anniversary !" and then on the envelope "Selamat Pengantin Lama" hee hee couldn' resist that..

Look at the cuppies - pretty are'nt they ? I commissioned Fuzzy to bake the cuppies, decorate and arrange them in a heart pattern - I actually re-arranged the heart when I added a layer of cake board to stabilise the base, and funnily enough when I put back the cuppies, there were 3 reds left over... So I put 2 in the 'garden' area, and then the single one left - got eaten by one of my boys ! I only know they were chocolate cakes, and lovely butter cream (licked my fingers after the re-arranging haa haa..) Taste - I don't think my boy was a good commentator - he just said "MMMmmmmmmm!" oh - if you want to have a taste of Fuzzy's cupcakes, go visit her blog - I have it listed under my Friends in Need.

The night was wonderful - most of the family was there. Everybody was all over the place greeting aunties, uncles and cousins. The children were having a ball as usual as nobody really minded them running around. After all it was a family event ! I wish I could post pics of the event, at least mine.. I'll have to wait for the official photographer to publish them somewhere first. Soon I hope, I can't wait to see my posed 'naturally candid' shots :)

Conversation with my little ones - 2

2008-08-06T11:38:00.003+08:00

Adik	:	(shrilly as usual) Uncle Kennnyyyyyy....! Why do you always wear a hat ?
UncK	:	Why do I always wear a HAT ?! Hmmm.. Why DOES Uncle Kenny always wear a hat ? (errr... sunny day ? makes me look cool ?)
Adik	:	I know.......!!! because... (voice drops down to fake whisper) you're..... b a l d d d d ......!

Thank God that came from the mouth of babies.

Thank God the Baby is one of Uncle Kenny's favourites.

Thank God that Uncle Kenny knows the Baby so well and can expect such things to come from him.

Thank God Uncle Kenny knew that Mummy who was standing there looking shocked had no idea this was coming !!

Thank Uncle Kenny for understanding and putting up with us every weekend...

I never asked for this

2008-08-05T00:01:00.002+08:00

Why must we have to keep painful secrets ?

Why must we have our own skeletons in the closet ?

Why must we hurt in silence ?

Why must we endure all this pain ?

Why must we go through all this sadness ?

Why must we tolerate all this pressure ?

Why must we be calm in the face of all this tumult ?

Why must we be sensible and deal with all the introduced mayhem ?

Why must we understand all this confusion ?

Why must we be victims of other people’s blunders ?

Why must we suffer all this just to grow into better people ?

Why am I required to seek professional help in order for me to cope with the stress from all the problems that I never signed up for in the first place ?

Why ? WHY ? W H Y ???

These Boots are Made for Walkin' !!

2008-08-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

I went home tonight and got a very pleasant surprise - my knee-highs arrived a day earlier than anticipated ! I ordered it via Desmond of Nethill (look him up under Lelong.com.my - he's got more stuff there) last Thursday and it only took a couple of days for delivery. I've ordered books off the internet, and only recently tried anything more intimate (read that as requiring a proper fitting if you ever buy it from the Mall!). So far the ones requiring 'fitting' were usually a bit larger than expected. So I'm sure you can imagine that I was rather apprehensive at what my next purchase adventure would be like ! I was willing to take a chance because the price offered were extremely reasonable to me..

Here's a picture of the boots I got off the internet. It's clearer than the pics I took myself, and I don't want you to miss the detailing in the front...

The corset lacing detail at the front of Aerosoles sumptuous Martial Part tall boots is sure to draw some admiration.

Nicely cushioned footbed

Full side zip entry for easy on and off

Heel: 2-¾”

Height: 14-½”

(got that description off the SierraTradingPost site)

Some of the reviews have also listed them as Sexy Wear-Anywhere shoes.. It is really comfortable and I got it in black (it also comes in brown, apparently, but not where I got them from). The seller was selling it at a steal on the internet, for something in suede. They were in great condition and is very obviously new. It's in suede but with some synthetic lining, can be a bit warm but who's complaining ! My only grievance would be the pointy heel, I prefer thicker squarish heels that provide a little bit more base, but these 3" ones are comfortable. I can't wait to wear them to work (and show them off.... ha ha ha ha). This pair is actually very similar to a pair I'd bought at Matalan in Staines around 2004-2005. Same style, in black suede, pointy front with a little bit of "cut-off" design, but minus the lace-up detailing. I'll post a picture of that pair hopefully soon, even if the heels are rather scuffed and worn as I even wear them when driving.

I tried them on the moment I got home last night (obviously couldn't wait) - having worn the scuffed pair earlier. So switching to these were great for a fashion shoot as I can see exactly how it looks with my skirt! I did take a couple of pictures - here they are but rather blurry.

I have been yet reminded again that I have not shown-off my collection in pictures... OK OK.. soon I hope ! I am a bit lazy to arange them all and then snap pics of them althugh I should do it in order to keep track of what I have. My collection of boots so far I think are numbering 11 with this one (not counting those that I have given away), but I can' t really be sure.... I really have to stock-take and do a proper count! So if you don't already know then... I simply love boots !!!

I hope the pictures are clear enough that you can see the ribbon detail on the lace-up.. the ribbons are in velvet and they don't actually open up at all. It's really a for-show-only thing. So if you have rather heavy calves, these may not really be ideal for you as it has side zippers and can't really expand much more. Very calf-hugging.

Next on my list - another pair of lace-up boots, this time on the back part of the calves. Any one has any idea where I can get them ? They have to be just about 3", can be pointy or square-toed, leather/suede, black preferred (I can still do dark brown) and most importantly.. less than RM120 !! Oh, that can be before postage and delivery....

Look East - O'shima in the Hicom Area

2008-08-04T15:33:00.004+08:00

Went to lunch last week - I was craving for Japanese - nothing fancy though. There's this place (there were 3 actually!) around our workplace, and it was definitely catering to the large Japanese community working in the area, near the Shintetsu premises. The first one we went to looked really really really authentic, but I quickly noted a 'Non-Halal' printed on the menu, so we excused ourselves. They smilingly nodded understanding.

We decided to go to the one on the corner - 'Oshima' - couldn't check out the middle establishment as it was closed undergoing repair work. The four of us - R, Naf, Rie and I had a marvellous time picking out what we wanted to have. R went with his usual Sushi Set (he's been there a few times). Naf decided to try the Salmon Teppanyaki ('Yucky' went his face when he found the veg too raw for his taste). Rie loved Udon and Tempura and lots of Wasabi - so however the Udon and Tempura tasted it did'nt really matter as the Wasabi kept him occupied enough. I had the Chicken Teppanyaki (or something !) and was a bit disappointed with it as it was salty ! Too much kicap cair methinks..

what I had for lunch.. loved the Miso soup, but still too salty for my taste

I would probably go there again - for the other menu !! Ha ha ha.. Imagine a Japanese restaurant - authentic la, of course - got real Japanese people serving you, Japanese cutlery, beautiful Japanese decor.. - and having an alternative menu of TOM YAM ! Go figure...

You do have to give them some credit in respecting local tastes and flavours... or is it that the proprietors consist of people who married the two customs (adat) together when they took their vows ? I have heard of a lovely couple on the East Coast, the wife is a Japanese (nurse ?) and the husband is a Kelantan batik entrepreneur. They are living happily in a culture that they both love and will cherish. They do intend to ensure the cultures they have are lovely inheritances for their children.

Conversation with my small ones - 1

2008-08-04T15:24:00.003+08:00

Adik	:	Mummmyyyy…. ? I think you better stop eating..!
Mummy	:	Why Sayang ?
Adik	:	Because you are getting soooo fat !!
Mummy	:	(passed the realm of insult) Oh well, what can I do? I AM getting old you know !
Abtif	:	(ever helpful with suggestions) Maybe you can exercise !! Abah always say we should exercise !
Mummy	:	But Abah also said Mummy is going through the phase where it is difficult fror me to lose weight, no ?
Adik	:	Soooooo I think my suggestion is easier.. Mummy just stop eating !
Mummy	:	Ok Mummy stops eating.. then ?
Abtif	:	Eh cannot lah, then Mummy will get tired and cannot fetch us from Kumon ! (brilliant idea!)
Mummy	:	I think I should resume going to the gym…
Adik	:	Yes !! Yes !!, Mummy go to gym !!
Abtif	:	(fake whisper) and we can go ice-skating….
Mummy	:	But there’s one small problem… this has stopped me signing up at the Calif Fit gym …
Adik	:	Apa tu Mummyyy ?
Mummy	:	Sekarang Mum call you from the office to remind you to do your homework, kan ? But when I get home, tak buat pun gak kan? I actually have to sit with you and only then you will start work…
Adik and Abtif	:	Err….
Mummy	:	So now imagine, camner kalau Mummy pergi gym lepas work, and come home late… will you do your homework at all ?
Adik	:	Mummy….. When can we go play Archery again ? Blink blink (evasive manouver in progress)

And she strikes !.. not....

2008-08-03T12:00:00.000+08:00

Lovely sweet candies ? Hee hee the bowling balls we used..

Tuesday night bowling with the children.. my first ever run after 5 years! We missed bowling with the guys from work, as we got there late – I had to go home get my trailer… Anyway, my target was to score 50 hee hee miserable figure, I know.. but I managed a final of 87 ! Woo hoo ! BUT come Saturday…….

Adik	:	Uncle Kennyyyyy… we went bowling last night.. me and Abtif shared 5 throws each…
Uncle K	:	Ooh that’s nice ! Ok now, on with the warming up !
Adik	:	Uncle Kennyyyyy… Abah said we cannot go bowling because of golf !
Uncle K	:	Ooops… now.... you bowled with your Left hand or your Right ?
Adik	:	I’m right handed… so used my right hand lah !
Uncle K	:	You have to learn to use your left hand for this now on !
Adik	:	Whyyyyyyyyy ?
Uncle K	:	Because it’s going to affect your golf swing, that’s why ! Your Daddy says you can’t bowl, well, at least not with your right hand, ok ?
Adik	:	Maaaaa now we have to go practice with left hand ? Aiyooot that is sooo susah la Mama..
Uncle K	:	I started off with my right and averaged 195… After I took up golf I had to learn with my left, and now I average 193 with my left I’ll see you next Saturday for practice again Ok ?
Adik	:	Bye Uncle Kennyyyyyy… Eh, Uncle Kennyyyy smoking is bad for your health! You are not supposed to smoke !
Uncle K	:	OK – we’ll cut a deal.. You don’t tell my wife I’m smoking and I don’t tell her how bad your swing was today, OK ?
Adik	:	No fair ! I don’t know who your wife is and I don’t think she cares about my swing .. heee heee

Ok so there goes my right hand bowling games. I joined the guys directly after work Friday and you wouldn’t be surprised that my games were terrible ! Not that they are great to start with anyway.

We played 3 games –

27 (with 3 consecutive ‘0’ points to start with),

31 (with 4 consecutive ‘0’s)

and closed the night with 17 (5 consecutive ‘0’s!).

I took the children bowling again to try with our lefts and this time.. ha ha ha you should have seen the miserable faces ! The Girl was the most forlorn. She was soooo fed-up with the ball going down the drain not 2 feet from the line that she just dumped the ball then on. I did better this time round, although it was only the one game, scoring 56. Too bad I didn’t get a picture in time. We were having trouble with the lane all through out the game that when we ended and the guys next to us had the the same problem, the workers there went and reset our records instead!

Ouch my left arm is aching and my left thumb is now bruised...

"Aku tak dengor ??!!"

2008-07-17T11:00:00.005+08:00

“Ma !. cepat call Tok. Tok dah ilang mana entah”

“Alaaahai, Tok gi mana ? Tadi kata nak suruh Abang bawak pergi Tabung Haji ?”

“Tu la, Abang turun lepas shower cari Tok takder, dia dah pergi Tabung Haji dulu jalan kaki”

“Abang kat mana ni”

"Kat Tabung Haji la. Tok takder sini”

“Ok you go back home and re-trace the route. Mama try call Tok lagi.”

“Abang kat mana ?”

“Kat rumah la, did like you told me to do”

“Tok ada tak ?”

“Takder aaaa..”

“Mama dah call banyak kali Tok tak jawab. Tok tu bukan dengar sangat kan…“

"Adoiiiiii how laaaa niiiii“

“Jap. Makcik kata Tok cakap nak jalan sendiri tu Tabung Haji. Okay. You go to Tabung Haji now and find Tok”

"Tadi kan Abang dah pergi, takder.."

"Go now, cepat. To the office belah depan tu”

“I don’t know where it is !”

“Ingat tak tempat Mama ajar Abang parking kereta tu ? Tempat buat 3-point turn tu ?”

"Haaaaa"

"Yang tu kat belakang. Pergi the other side facing Angkasa building, the office is there. Tanya la orang kalau tak jumpa !”

“So….how ?”

“Dah. Jumpa dah. Tok jalan kaki datang sini…”

“So did you ask him why he didn’t wait for you ? “

“Dah”

“What did he say ?”

“Apa dia ? Aku tak dengor ??!!”

“Hee hee hee”

We were panicking like anything because we couldnt find him. Worried because he is 86 and his hearing is not good. Not very sturdy on his feet as he would like to be... but his simple regular answer to my son's question can only make us shrug and smile .. Oh well ! He's safe - that is all we want to know ! Lessons learnt again and again ? Punctuality. If he says he wants to leave at 10am, and you are not ready by then, too bad for you !

Of soothing sounds..

2008-07-13T14:17:00.000+08:00

I finally got the water fountain installed today !! After shopping around in Kota Damansara and haggling with the FOREIGNERS who were managing sales of the items (they wanted a total of RM750 for the same configuration but minus transport and installation... giler ker ?) - I finally found one that suited my budget - in a shopping complex !! Talk about shopping complexes being more expensive… Anyway there is this place called Sunflower Art and Décor in Sunway Pyramid which has a white sandstone fountain on display in their shop. I liked it for its minimalist design – not much fuss there.

The price was also reasonably cheaper than anywhere else for the same design. I paid a total of Rm590.00 for the whole thing –

Water feature set 480.00

Delivery 30.00

Installation 80.00.

The water feature set consists of the 7-part sandstone fountain + water pump + lighting. They also provided some white stones and tested and adjusted the water flow. I used my own energy saving light bulb although they brought one with them.

So here are some pictures to show off for ! I haven’t completed the rearranging and deco as yet, only managed to put my pandanus bush together for now. I still need to get my wiring done up properly, put some white pebbles and rearrange the rest of my plants.

Before – marking the spot for the fountain with a wire planter holder. The pandanus bush looks like it's keeled over and died...

My new fountain close up – two tiered

Voila ! The water feature all done ! See the lights and my pandanus crop nicely arranged now.

Another view of my new fountain....

I hope to post more pictures of my little spot of heaven on earth soon, when it's all done. Ooh... happy happy day !!!

ps. eat your heart out, my invisible weightlifter friend ! :D

Abscess in the abyss

2008-07-07T16:23:00.005+08:00

Feeling tired, depressed and down. My body is hurting.

"I think it's psychological, Doc. The way I'm feeling now is manifesting in my body as aches and pains. Problem is, I recognise it, but how do I tell it to go away?"
"No lah.. you have a genuine case of pain, else you wouldn't be coming to see me. I know it's not for an MC because you know I don't give them out especially to you ! Ha ha"
"Errrr... yer la tu.. you did give me an MC the last time I came, kan.. you forced me to take 2 days off"
"Oh yes, tapi yang itu was because you were in great pain"
"So now in not-so-great pain la kot ?"
"Ha ha... now I'm giving you Arcoxia for your frozen shoulder"
"Frozen shoulder tu amenda nye ? I tau frozen lamb je la Doc"
"Ish.. you ni. Your condition is called frozen shoulder. And it's affecting you at the joints as well where you feel the other pain"
"Yeah given my previous record, I thought I'd come to see you. Just in case it was coming back"
"Record mana ni ?"
"Yang kes abyss in my upper torso tu la..."
"Abyss apa ? Tu Abscess lah !"
"Alamak... ok Doc... he he he yer, yer.. abscess"

So I'm cleared of any abscess in the abyss problems for the moment. Have been told to exercise my shoulder gently and put heat compress on the area. Adoi. Still sakit even after the Arcoxia.

So to cheer myself up, I went to lunch in SACC mall. Tapi tak habis pun. Tak lalu nak makan bila ingat kan issue lain yang even more depressing. Oh well. I cleaned out the mushrooms and chicken in the pie, and left the pastry shell and fries. I finished the veges. The freshly prepared Orange juice was good. It helped to cheer me up a bit.

My 'heart' will go on...

2008-07-06T23:59:00.001+08:00

A year. Minus one from the current year and you're back in time. Not really in time too, she left without saying a proper goodbye. Maybe she did, but I didn't. Not given a chance for a proper goodbye. She said goodbye on the day that I left for London in June and never spoke to me again since. I called and each time there was a different excuse "She's praying" "She's asleep" "She's in the bathroom" "She's not in the mood to talk". "Ok lah kalau cam tu, Bapak just tell her that I have got her favourite - the Aero chocolates in Mint, alright..?" "Yes I will"

Arrived home two Wednesdays later and rang them. Bapak said "Mum's sleeping"

"Ok just to say that I'm back, and why didn't you wait for me to come back as promised ? You said you'd wait for me to get in before going back home ?”

"Entah la, Mak hang nak balik sangat.."

Thursday

"Mak buat apa ?"

"Entah tadi dalam bathroom. Nak get ready nak pray. Dah lambat, tadi she was lying down kat sofa in front"

2:30pm Friday

"Erm Bapak ni.. your mother.. her breathing's not so good la I can see ni…. Kalau Emma free, boleh balik tak ? But don’t rush, I’ll see her progress in the next couple of hours, and I’ll let you know.. yer ?”

"Aha.. ni memang plan nak balik this evening. I'll clear up and leave earlier then. I'll call you to let you know when I'm leaving ok ? I'll get Aman to pack dulu"

"Ok. Bapak pun ni baru balik sembahyang Jumaat, tadi makEncik nak suap bubur kat Mak, she doesn't want to eat saying she is too tired. I'm going to try pulak"

"Ok. Mak kalau tak makan nanti lagi la letih kan"

2:45pm Friday SMS

"Atam where"

"On my way back to Taiping. just left KK"

"k. Bapak called, me go soon as i fin thgs in ofc. keep me posted k"

"Right. When I get there I let u know what's status"

"k. am going back anyway"

3:35pm Friday

"Emma... Bapak ni................"

"Yeeessss……. Bapaaaaaak………?"

"Mak hang.. your Mother..."

"Naper.. ? What is it, Bapak ?"

"Habih dah. Mak hang habih dah. Your mother... habih dah... 3:30pm tadi... Ok yer ? Bapak nak call Ayah Pa bagi tahu"

"Bapak, are you alright ? Are you ok ? Who is there with you ?"

"makEncik and Kak Teh are here with Mak. Aku call Pa dulu yer ? Ok yerr..?"

"Ok Bapak.... ok... yes.. Bapak pergi lah call Ayah Pa"

click…..

and all the held-back emotions during the last few bits of the conversation came pouring out. bewilderment. grief. loss. confusion. emptiness. shock. and the howling came as if from afar, from an alien being. I watched and heard myself as if detached, and didn't recognise me. Bapak was alone to manage things. Mak didn't want anyone else there. She waited for Bapak to come home from Friday prayers, and she said her goodbyes, only with her one beloved. The only one who mattered most to her. For her children there were no goodbyes, farewell, be good... She has said it to us all through her life.

"It is against (the order of) nature for a child to go first, and we have lost two.." you wailed to Bapak before..

Mak, your youngest child misses you. I have absolutely no one now, as you decided to follow Nyah. You did soooo want to go and have been asking the Almighty for this for the longest time. And you finally got your call.. you hasten to go before someone else’s number is called..

The pacemaker is still ticking in the ground. "It is good for about 20 years’ of use, providing the patient does not operate a jack-hammer, which would bring the battery life down to about 15 years’"

Petronas Twin Towers at nite

2008-07-05T23:59:00.001+08:00

Just a pic I snapped from my iphone while driving at nite. The towers light up like candles, don't they ? Obviously not the best shot - won't win any awards, but I kind of like it..

My Greenies and I...

2008-07-04T17:28:00.001+08:00

Pictures of my greenies... See if you can spot the butterflies ! I adore green and hanging plants. My maid has contributed to growing some chillies too. Soda insists on being in again, he's hiding behind one of the plants.

Tot straks

Soda oh Soda.. 2 The cat luvs to pose !

2008-07-04T17:18:00.002+08:00

Soda oh Soda...1

2008-07-04T17:16:00.001+08:00

New toy... :)

2008-07-03T17:20:00.003+08:00

I got me another new toy today.. Set me back by Rm49, but okay la kan, for 4GB packed into the small bugger ! Courtesy of my Invisible Weightlifter Friend, who was at Low Yat today. Nasib baik dia nice enough to oblige to buy for me. Nak tunggu i get myself over to KL City Centre... errr not sure when la kan ! Probably by the time that I actually got myself there, the price would have dropped to RM15 (read that as being almost obsolete.. or me too old to move fast enough)

I like it because of the cover. It just needs a flip, and I won't lose it, that's why. Imagine having a USB thumdrive with no cover. It doesn't mess up the data but it just looks ... well, incomplete. So here I am with this baby blue (okaylah, almost turquoise) piece. Would have loved it in purple, but that's the 2GB one.

Here's a shot of it... Don't anyone tell me that it's fake, not that I really care anyway!!

Thanks, my friend! Next time I belanja you Persia kat AmpWalk la kot ha ha ha bila la tu yer....

Tot straks all

happy happy happy day :D

Oh lupa pulak

2008-07-03T15:47:00.003+08:00

I got me some more new plants !!! Yay ! From Jusco Home Centre in 1U, from Giant at the KJ Mall, and from the Bandar Kinrara Giant Mall... Pics soon, I hope ! Greens are lovely - I find that everytime I feel upset and depressed, I go out and get green plants, and flowers. I got myself some roses the other day, but they are now wilted, how sad.. maybe time to get myself another bunch ?

tot straks...

Wow.. it's been more than a month !

2008-07-03T15:03:00.009+08:00

It's been so long.. So many things have happened - and DIDN'T happen! Happy happy happy - the new dining table has arrived, to replace the old one. Got it in the same fashion, round and extendable so it can accomodate the whole family when we go home for Eid. Dad wanted to keep the old one "Still in good condition, la !" I said no. It's time to let go. You can donate the top - that is definitely still good, but the supporting bits are in terrible shape. Someone keeps on saying "ooh we can just repair this, bapak you have to do this, do that".. another someone always actually DOES the repairing so we can continuously use it, so I decided to just contribute to buy another one. The old one IS already almost 30 years old, after all ! Well-served and past it's time. Dad says, so is he..! he hee i said up to him lah to consider himself as what ever !

Sad sad sad - My sweetie couldn't make it home after all. His home Co's board meeting has been postponed indefinitely. Mad rush as he was supposed to fly home direct from AMS after his conference, tickets all ready. Imagine the mad rush to find tickets and accomodation to fly back to IFN on short notice! Bad enough the peeps at THR insisted that he get a visa to go to Europe on departure ! Malaysian passport holders DO NOT need a visa to go to Europe. Little did they know and wanted to understand ! A delay to the conference, obviously, even if they did compensate with a direct THR-AMS flight on KLM, with 3 seats allocated to him so he can sleep the night off; it was still a bad start, no ? Then it was a roundabout trip back to IFN being AMS-CDG-DXB(overnight)-THR-IFN.. fuh banyaknya codes.. I had my share of the action - did the online booking for my Sweetheart's stay in DBX. Good thing I wasn't yet asleep at that time. And since still not yet midnite, sempat transfer duit via MB2U sebab he had run out of cash. Abis nak makan kat DUbai kena pakai cash kan, as original plan he wud have arrived KUL by then !

Happy happy happy - went to visit little Justin of Emily and Chris for his full moon. The tiny one has gangly arms and legs and is seem to be on track to beat Mummy and Daddy at height and size. Congratulations, little one !

Sad sad sad - had a mad craving for Irani Kebab ! but the restaurant in YC Plaza is gone as the whole place is under reno, but happy happy happy again because we found the place on Jalan Putra to compensate. Not so great, hoping for better but enough to satisfy us for now. The Zaffron Ice Cream pacified us .. a bit ! Lovely !

Oh well so many things to be thankful for and I can't write it all here. More bits and pieces later I hope!

Tot Ziens !!

Yesterday was just another day indeed

2008-05-28T10:17:00.001+08:00

The ones who really mattered were either already gone or completely forgot.
I have to remind myself to make my day feel as special as I could.

Hu hu hu....

2008-05-26T14:53:00.002+08:00

I found this on the net at 40ana.blogspot.com :) So this is actually a reproduction from that site. Credits where due, ok !

The History of the Middle Finger

Here's something that you might not have known before.....

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!

And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.

Sleep... Sleeeeeepy !

2008-05-06T17:12:00.005+08:00

Just so terribly am not-here ! Am sleepy cos having a headache cos of eye-strain cos of weather too hot cos it hasn't rained... Adoi... Rasa nak duduk tidor on the cabinet bawah air-con tu je.. it's sooo tempting !

Anyway.. this is my ubat mengantuk (though not necessarily good for my headache lah). Took a pic with the SE phone, pic's clear and good.

After this post, it's au revoir, I'm going home to nap. after I cook dinner that is..

My new stuff

2008-05-02T12:16:00.004+08:00

Since my new-found craze of including photos, well here is picture proof of my new books. Soda decided he wanted to be in the picture as well, so he posed himself alongside without much persuasion... Sebok je, kan ? But nice contrast to the books :)

I'd actually gone through about a third of the Level 1 puzzles. I unwind before sleeping at night by doing 1 or 2 (or 3 or 4 or 5...hee hee). That's why the Sudoku book is always on my bed. I haven't yet started on my Bourne book. Wonder if it will be as much fun as the ones written before by Robert Ludlum himself.. I do have anther book which I am yet to finish, maybe I'll struggle through that one first before I start on this one.

Goodbye my sweet

2008-04-29T17:44:00.008+08:00

I remember this time last year

I barely noticed the flowers

Except for those by her bed

I barely remembered eating

Except when someone brought us food

I barely realised others

Except those who came to visit

I barely went home

Except to shower and change

I barely lost my temper

Except when they decided

To treat her as if she had already gone

She will go, yes she will

On her own time, at her own pace

As what she had agreed to

Until that time

She is mindful and aware

of everyone and everything

Her wishes, she made clear, we carried out

Her wants, she made obvious, we fulfilled

Her fears, she expressed, we understood

Her needs, we knew, we anticipated

The considerate planner as always

To be home where the heart is

To be ready for the Almighty

To be prepared for the last journey

At a time convenient

Goodbye my sweet

I miss you

Zarina

Arrived June 7 1948

Departed 12 May 2007

Another favourite pastime..

2008-04-28T02:50:00.006+08:00

Online shopping ! JCPenney is now in Malaysia! Online, of course. The prices are great, but here's the killer.. the freight charges. They apparently ship the items out from the Asian Warehouse.. in the US ! Humppfff ! the freight can actually cost more than the items. Why can't they just have it ride on the Singapore-bound shipment ? Or just divert stuff from JCP in Singapore ? It's so much less hassle and transport.

I'm complaining so much cos I've got my eye on their Extra-Deep King Size Luxurious Sheets.. I have sooo much trouble getting decent fitted sheets for my bed here from KL. and I am never too keen to carry extra weight home whenever we go abroad. I'll have a think-through. If I really want them now, then maybe yes, I'll just have to bear the cost then.

Ok.. if you feel like browsing, it's www.JCPenney.com.my

too-da-loo!

Oh well, I might as well!

2008-04-28T02:03:00.005+08:00

Sleep is eluding me again.. or is it because I'm so highly strung ! Well, whichever it is, I decide I might as well write a bit then.

Saturday was sooooo hectic.. morning was a recital in Shah Alam - Kakak was in My Fair Lady, lah-dee-dah-ing in the Ascot scene.. wonderful ! I always loved playing dress-up - white frilly blouse, skirt with huge ribbons.. large hat with bows and feathers, elbow gloves... sigh... supposed to end at 1:30pm but it overshot to 2:15 instead.

Rushed home, with barely enough time to get ready for the next event - in Cheras ! Baby was to participate in the gymnastics demonstration (Mummy is too tired to send you, darling.. it's the other side of the world ! But Mummeeeee, if I don't go, who will replace me... and I've been practicing very hard..!) So of we go, and to reach there before 3:00pm, which we obviously didn't. 3:30pm it was, and loafing in the South Hall until this pretty little something (girl? fairy? waif? That's Emily, she's a gymnast, in form 4, Mummy... WHAT?! She's... she's... Mum! If I'm supposed to be tiny, what's she ? Errr... miniscule, Kakak ?) came by to get something and told us that the rest were already waiting at the red gazebo.

Off raced Baby to the red gazebo to join the others. Mum ? Oh no, Kakak, we're staying right here. No way am I going out into the 40c sun ! My little Professor agreed.. and recommended we sit comfortably in the canteen.. yum yum! Forgot we didn't have time to grab any lunch.

My Pilot was out in the field, rounding up his old chums, and a hit with the girls, as usual. Every time I looked, there he was chatting with a junior girl. Hmmmm... Anyway, he was giving me regular reports from the war zone, via sms, to keep me updated on the goings-on. When it was Baby's gymnastics session, the 3 of us watched from afar, in the comfortable shade. The Pilot was in the field, but wouldn't have been good with a camera either, cos he couldn't see over the heads of the others there !

And Mum decreed that we were to leave immediately after Baby's done. And the Pilot speaks - Oh Mum, after this, please.. I want to watch my cheerleaders.. wow.. HIS cheerleaders :) ha ha.. well the boys' house did win the cheerleading competition this year, after all.

Rush rush now.. to MVMM.. and managed to get seats for Forbidden Kingdom at 8pm! Pilot - Mum, are you that desperate to watch this? You agreed to take seats, third row from the screen !! Happily enough! And I wish I could go watch this again, this would win hands down against that Crouching Tiger nonsense, any time.

Tired day, satisfying night, and no one went to Taekwando on Sunday morning :) Oh well, they deserve a rest after the grueling hot day before.

Lunch was a lazy affair - Rice, cubed mutton curry, salisbury steaks (actually fancy-named burgers ha ha ha) and some soya-based Thai-styled fried dumplings which tasted great. No veggies - I ran out and forgot to buy a bit. We only have petai, which I don't think would have fitted the menu..

Then the Ustad came by after the heavy downpour. Dinner was supposed to be at Subway, but I got vetoed out so we ended up at Pizza Hut in SP. Had a lovely time at MPH afterwards.. RM230 on books alone - which would be tax-rebate-able anyway so no problems there. They had to chase us to make our payment quickly as they had to close! So home we went then with a bag-full of books! I got my follow-up Sudoku book, I'd finished the earlier one.

Made the boys finish their homework tonight itself. They still don't know that Monday is declared an occasional school holiday for them. They'll just enjoy a good lie-in tomorrow then when Mum doesn't wake them up as usual..

Oh did I mention that I got me new plants ? Love them.. the hanging draping kind... I hope they they won't commit mass suicide like the last batch I had!

No, it's true!

2008-04-24T16:35:00.003+08:00

No, don't worry.. your eyes are not playing tricks on you and neither have I used invisible font ! The following blank posts are on my list of 'to-be-updated items', which I hope to update very soon. So until then, just jump over them to the next completed one!

Wheels !

2008-04-24T00:08:00.006+08:00

I finally got pics of my new car! Silver present from my hubby. It’s a lovely C200, 1998 edition. Low kilometer-age (less than 100k) Have a look-see. It's all nice and especially shiny - our Pilot told me he'd given it a bath the day before.. although he omitted to tell me he'd hit the wall when he moved the car back up under the porch..

front view

back view

Thank you so much, Sayang, I love you as always, forever..

The Tan Sri's cheeky Puan Sri at work..

2008-04-24T00:07:00.000+08:00

Colours - aren't they wonderful ?

2008-04-24T00:05:00.001+08:00

These boots are made for walking

2008-04-24T00:04:00.000+08:00

Have bag will travel..

2008-04-24T00:03:00.003+08:00

Blame it on my Mother !

2008-04-24T00:02:00.000+08:00

hopefully the first !

One crazy Geminian at play

2008-04-23T23:46:00.003+08:00

I have so many things I'd really love to talk about (note the absence of the word 'share' - this is afterall, one-sided! I talk, you listen..). But I don't seem to be able to find the time to do it here. Between work, running around my 4 juniors - one is no longer a valid junior in the house as he is old enough to go away to Uni, oooh Mummy forgets, he will be a junior again then ha ha! and generally maintaining the car(s), the kitten and the house. Note also that the house is the last in the order of things ! So, when is there ever anytime ?

I can already hear someone "Oh you will, once you get addicted to blogging" Hummmph... I actually started blogging (writing my 'memoirs', more like it was then called) about 10 years ago. Yup. I did. But I dont remember why I stopped, when I stopped, and where it was that I blogged ! The pages got eaten by a bigger co., and I lost track after the home PC got stolen. Oh well, so here I go again, and with a good friend to urge me on (more like drag me onwards haha) hopefully this time I will be a bit more consistent.

Now where was I? Oh the list ! I DO have a list of things I want to write about.. and hopefully I will do them soon. So this is my plan... I am going to put the Titles down first, and hopefully.. hopefully I will spur myself to write quickly, so as not to be labeled 'blankie' ..

Until then... my list.. my list !!

Two crazy Geminians

2008-04-23T23:00:00.004+08:00

"Oit.. penat la tengok gambar kucing kau tu"

"Abis nak wat camner ? Aku balik dah letih aaa, mana ada time nak update blog.."

"Hah, baca blog aku latest haa, aku ada mention pasal keter ... and kau"

"Alamak.. aku dapat air time lagi dalam blog kau ? Ok Ok.. I'll update my blog as soon as possible.."

"Dah baca lom ?"

"Oi ! Kau citer pasal keter aku gak ! Aku ingat kau citer pasal keter baru kau tu ? Aku pun lom blog pasal keter aku tu tau !"

"Nasib la, kau lambaatttt ! Ha ha ha..."

Thanks Niko.. you helped get my story out for me :D If I had to wait for me, errrrrr... I would be probably too old to even read it to myself :P

Soda (Part 1)

2008-03-21T14:50:00.003+08:00

This is my kitten.
His name is Soda.
Soda is 3 months old.
Soda is white with creamy streaks.
His mum is of Siamese descent.
Soda likes to play.
He loves to eat.
He likes to pose for pictures, as you can clearly see !
Soda is a trained army cat.
He loves to sneak on people and guerilla-attack them.
Good luck people...

more on this guy, later perhaps !

Alive... and Very Angry

2008-03-19T00:39:00.002+08:00

That's definitely it. I am. I still am both. Being very angry confirms that I am definitely alive. I thank the Almighty Allah that no physical harm befell my children and I. I am still cursing the two (I can't actually write THOSE words here - sorry) to hell and back again, infinity times over ! Why ? WHY ? WHY NOT ? When they actually took valuable things from me, violated my right (especially to financial freedom) !! Damn them ! They grabbed my handbag from the passenger side of the car, and ran. My bag. My Ipod. My purse with ALL my credit cards and ALL my ATM cards and the extension which had ALL my membership cards. AND... my mother's watch. Dad gave me Mum's watch, for me to treasure. It's broken, and I wanted to repair it so I can wear and enjoy it. They took that. What good would it do them ? It's broken, they'll just dump it somewhere. Like they'll dump my purse, cards (I got all of them blocked in time).. they'll have some use for the Ipod obviously, and the cash. 150Euro and 450RM. I know.. I know.. my darling half has asked the exact same thing - but I had to keep the money in my purse in order to go pay off my cards at the CDM, don't I ?

I feel so vulnerable. So exposed. My NRIC. My Driving License. My keys. My favourite lipsticks !!! (note the plural.. there is definitely more than one in there). And a host of other necessities. FOR ME. I need them. My Necessities. My stuff. My medication. Not that I'm dropping dead earlier if i don't have them, but these are still MINE.

I feel anger. I gave chase, but couldn't find them. They were very quick on the bike, while I had to first reverse the car out of the drive way. I would have gladly rammed them down if I did get them. Seriously. Yes, it happened right on my doorstep, as I was getting ready to drive the car up the drive way. No the car was unlocked as #2 and #4 had just got out to open the gates. Yes the bag was on the passenger seat as I'd just taken out the house keys. No I definitely didn't see this coming. Yes I was very tired after a long day. And No... don't tell Dad.

Made my police report immediately after. Funny incident when the pretty L/Kpl (yes she is. why can't she be ?) asked for my NRIC to validate the report. I just smiled and pointed to what she'd typed out on the screen to verify - "Antara barang kecurian adalah Kad Pengenalan" (Amongst the stolen items is the NRIC). She slapped her own foreheaad - Duh !

So this wonderful hot sunny day ? Early morning to Putrajaya for JPN (they waived all charges as there was a police report made), then off to the various banks to settle my numerous cards. Thank the Almighty I got my main ATM card immediately. That allows me to eat tomorrow :) A long trek all over the city up and down mountains.. errrr, I mean floors, dealing with all the Customer Service Reps. I must say the best today was the single lady, she was calm and projected the required warmth and understanding of the urgency of the situation. Not that the boys didn't, but somehow the quality just wasn't up to par... They compensated with having (rather) good looks. That did cool me a bit (harrumph ! enuff said). I'm getting my new NRIC tomorrow - with a new round face in the picture area ha ha they stretched the pic on the temporary id.. I guess that's how I'll look for the rest of the card's (or mine) natural life.

Now. I need to get some sleep. More than enough unwanted excitement, and fatigue is catching up along with the stress. My initial gastric problem has developed into something more severe now. My darling says I coped brilliantly, I managed it very well. but I don't want to manage it very well.. I just don't want this to happen. But it did, and this is one more unhappy loss that I have to bear with in my life.

Please Allah, no more major losses.. I beseech you. It's still not even a full year yet. I do acknowledge that you test only those that will endure as you have made it such, but this humble servant of yours is sending up a fervent prayer that you reduce the amount of hardship that she has to partake of in her life. I pray to you the Almighty, with the intercession of your beloved Prophet and his Holy Family, to spare me from much more pain.. And to grant me the strength to rise from especially the past sadness and grief and to move on, in order to continue my service unto You. Ameen yaRabbil Alameen.

For one who does not quite update her blog often enough, I think every once in a while is quite an earful..

Not short by any standards...

2008-03-11T19:19:00.000+08:00

Ha ha... my friend just asked me about my blogger page.. And I had to say 'I have one ?' and asked HIM for the address ! Pretty lame is it not ? Oh well, here I am again, finally.

I originally started this blog in October 2007, as a means of releasing my tensed thoughts and feelings. I had lost my sister - my only one - finally succumbing to cancer on May 12,2007, and then mum decided she wanted to go along with her. She waited for dad to come home from Friday prayers before telling her heart to stop working. Leaving me as the sole female of the family. My dad sorely misses them both, and I make matters worse by not calling him up as often as he would like ! But I have my days, too. Days where i simply cannot bear to talk to anyone as it reminds me too much of times gone by.

I still ache at the thought of not being able to call them up and chat on my way to and from work. I actually got myself a pretty expensive toy - a bluetooth headset so that i can easily chat with them on the phone while driving. Sis would be in the morning - if I don't call her by 7:45am, she will call to and demand to know why I'm not yet on the way to work. Mum's session will be at the end of the day, after work where I'll be updating her on the latest office gossip... and what my sis and I talked about in the morning ! She'll ask without fail as to why I'm still on the road, when it's past dinner time. I usually make it a point to talk in theatrics, they love it and take it for what it was, embellishments of actual stories.

It's funny to have to talk of them in the past tense.. I still don't refer to them with the customary prefix of 'Aruah' (Departed) Mak or 'Aruah' Nyah... it's too weird. It's a long way from that October, when I could barely speak of them without breaking down uncontrollably, I still have those moments. Now I don't break down, but my heart just aches terribly every time I speak of them.

Trying to move on, and trying to start a blog with lots of non-sensical issues ! But there will be moments like these, definitely, where I will need to let my fingers express my thought and feelings. Until then, there it is !

procrastination..

2007-10-10T09:00:00.000+08:00

i will .. i will, soon !